Husband coming ober

[Taylor33]

Hi

My husband and I separated almost a month ago (his decision due to ongoing stress and bickering in the marriage).

Since then he has been undecided whether or not he wants to try to save our marriage. He is currently suffering from depression and has been miserable in our marriage for about 6 months. He is taking medication ans since he started the medication, he feels he is seeing "clearly" for the first time in years etc. Personally, I think the medication is zapping him of his emotions, though he won't see it that way.

Anyway, we are still wearing our rings, stay obeying our marriage vows for the time being and he is coming over tonight to have a takeaway together. We tried "dAting" the week after we separated, but this was way too soon and raw. At that point, he was in a negative state of mind about the marriage and I was pretty much desperate to get him back. We have both levelled off now.

We have been getting on well in terms of sharing responsibilities for our dd (3) with friendly conversations in between.

My question is, which way should I be tonight to avoid intensity and pressure? I just want a nice evening together to try to start reconnecting without any pressure to do anything.

I should add that my husband wants us to remain a "team" and "best friends"even if we do split up. Although I know this is unlikely. Also, last week, when I took my wedding rings off and cuddled him to say goodbye as a husband, he said not to make any final decisions just yet. He's very up and down and I just want to have a nice evening together to try to reconnect the bond we had before the drama of life broke down the relationship.

Thank you

From the way this is written it seems to be all about him and what he wants. What do you want? Plus he is messing you around with his indecision. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to react like this whenever times get tough?
I'm guessing he started the arguments? I also suspect that you'll find out that there is probably an OW. I've never known a man to leave without another option. I would be very careful, he has probably had his head turned but doesn't want to give up his comfortable life. I think you deserve better than this and I would be making his mind up for him!

He's messing you around and keeping his options open.

Wouldn't be surprised if the 6 months of misery he told you about involved another woman

Hey - I don't know about whether or not he is stringing you along, or if there is another woman.

But, as so someone who's been depressed (twice) - I can tell you - it's a pretty crappy place to be.

And being unhappy, indifferent, and indecisive about all kinds of things - it's not even the worst parts of it.
Losing a will to live, feeling like it doesn't matter if you live or die - this is how it often feels.

So - it's good he is getting help. And if it's medical - that means it's serious enough.

It doesn't exactly zap you out of emotions - it's more like it takes away the terrible lows. It doesn't take away he highs (meaning the happy emotions) - it just takes time for you to get to a place when they are even possible.
Seeing clearly for the first time in a while - whatever it is that he sees - is possible.

Good luck to both of you.