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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why does this happen? Getting blanked.

3 replies

fakebakedbeanz · 24/06/2017 15:45

I know this is a common one.

Made good friends with a woman in our town who has DC my age. Been going for lunch and drinks one on one, been socialising with partners and DC for a couple of years. All good, chilled out, no issues, no pressure. I didn't think she was my best friend but we certainly know each other quite well.

went to a big barbeque with the DCs last night with lots of people from the town and local school who I didn't know. I was a bit nervous about going, but I thought at least we know (friend and her family,) so can chat to them. We'd seen them the week before and had a great time.

We got there and actually it was fine. Talked to plenty of people, nice conversation. I kept seeing my friend in my peripheral vision and was looking over to wave at her. She never had eye contact with me nor responded to my wave.

When it got dark I was sitting on a step with a hotdog and she couldn't see who it was. She called out on to the step "who's there? Have you seen Emma? (Her DD)

I said "hi (friend!) it's me. Haven't seen you all evening" then she walked away without replying.

At end of the eve everyone was in the house as it got cold. I walked up to her and said "hi" and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "So nice to see you etc." She was pretty cold. "Yeh, hope everything's good. I have to actually go and get (husband,) sorry... see you around"

I know this happens and I've read about it on here but I am just so surprised when people do it.

It makes me think I have done something but I really can't think of what I could have done?

I know you will say just let it go and chalk it up to experience. But it's very hard. The mindset seems to be that it's okay for friendships to end overnight and you never know why, and it's allright for people to change their mind about you at the flick of a switch and you shouldn't ask.

I just find this so weird. What do I do?

OP posts:
FatLittleWombat · 24/06/2017 15:53

I'd text her and simply say you've noticed she is very distant and you would like to know the reason. Make it sound friendly, not aggressive. If she doesn't reply to the text, I'd openly ask her next time you see her. Blanking someone is awful behaviour and she needs to know that!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 24/06/2017 17:13

Maybe she expected you to seek her out when you first got there?

LucieLucie · 24/06/2017 17:38

Was she maybe peeved you hadn't mentioned you were going to be at the BBQ?

Personally I wouldn't text, only face to face works in situations like this. Talking like grown ups, see her reaction.

Go round and see her in person ask her wtf was going on with her last night and don't allow her to dismiss you with 'nothing'.

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