Apologies if it's a bit long and all over the place, I'm a bit hungover and didn't sleep much last night.
I've been with my boyfriend almost 4 years, we have a dd who is 8 months now. Wasn't a planned baby and he really struggled and we had a difficult first few months. He's had counselling and we've been doing really well, we live together and everything's been good.
We had a baby free night out last night. I'm breastfeeding and so haven't been drinking much and it was a big night out, lots of alcohol. He was drunk, I was very drunk.
So we got into a silly argument, I think it was about food, but can't quite remember and we'd stopped and we were ok again. (I'm just trying to give a overall feel of the night) We headed home and he said something when we got in, it related to dd not being home and how nice that was. I can't go into the whole argument as it would be very long and I can't remember exactly how it went or why escalated like it did, but it was horrible and I was in particular very nasty. He walked out, but came back a hour or so later, he stayed downstairs though and I was up in bed. He had football this morning and he asked me if I wanted him to stay home instead, I said no, and that's all we've said since.
He'll be out most of this morning so I've got time to think, but I just don't know what to say or do. I know I need to apologise and I think it means we've still got some issues I've been choosing to ignore.
But where do I start? I feel sick and not just from drink, but I keep remembering things I said and I'm not sure how I can take it back!!
This isn't a usual thing for us either, we don't argue when drunk or really at all! This is the worst we've ever had by a long shot!