SOS-He just threatened to beat me and I am scared!

[user1498060624]

He just texted me demanding I delete a re-tweet I tweeted about the Queen supporting the domestic abuse help budget.

He texted me saying and I quote
'Delete the tweets or everything that has happened up until now will seem minor in comparison'.

He also called me twat and dirty and he said 'I am embarrassed for being with you, I want you to just go away now. Instead you will linger like a bad smell and spew a load of arrogant nonsense for months. Go away from Aberdeen and the UK, away from my attention completely.'

I am sitting in my living room being scared and I dont know what to do. Please talk to me, I am alone!!!!!

Hi there,

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

It looks like you've had some great support and advice from other MNers on here - please call the numbers you've been given upthread and get some RL help.

We're awed daily by the amazing support that our members give each other.

That said, we always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster (emotionally or otherwise) than they can afford to spare.

We'd say to all of you to please exercise extreme caution if considering arranging to meet up with another MNer. Because, as we all know, this is the internet and whilst there are loads of wonderfully helpful and giving people out there (and on here), it really can be a risky thing to do.

Take care and look after yourself, OP.

Yes Lou you are very right precautions should be taken. We've exchanged social media etc. and are meeting in a public place. Either of us could back out if we want to.

I second calling the police again. You have the message as evidence and presumably it's on file from last time.

For once I'd do what he suggests.

Leave him the fuck alone.

Ignore any contact.

Lock your windows/doors.

Call 101 and log it.

I'd like to show him what a real beating is like...

I agree with pp's you need to report this. Was it the same police station as before? You might find it has a more positive outcome this time with more supportive officers. They should have your number recorded so if you do call they should have all your details. We are all with you and thinking of you. Please stay safe.

Hi all,

Firstly let me say how much thankful I am for your support. When he texted me I got scared and even the cat moving sounds in the house made me feel that he is there ready to attack.

I met with the lovely @RenaissanceBunny in a nearby park and had a long walk and chat and she has been extremely supportive! We also have a common thing as we both study for a PhD at the same University! Small world.

My ex texted me since the afternoon again, but I didn't respond to either of his messages and I don't obtain to. Tomorrow he is going to bring my remaining stuff from his place and I have arranged for my flatmate to be here too. So after this I block him from my phone and I am free!!!! And I am hoping that I wont stumble upon him when he will move in his new flat.

His messages were:
a) Stop writing shit about me twat
b)You going to take them down or not
c)It's a shame we came to this. Im going through our old photos where we looked happy, all for it to end like this.

Since then I deleted the tweet that he thought was indicating that his family are racists. His initial fear was that any common friends who follow me might do the connection. Also he still thinks his parents have never been racists towards me so it is a disgrace to call them racists!

Today I woke up feeling strong, I really don't know where I get my strength from or why today particularly, but I felt empowered! However, with him calling me various names 'twat' etc I felt rubbish again and of course scared when he texted me and threatened me.

I cannot believe I wasted 3 years with this guy. I seriously cannot believe it!I can now see what he is capable of and that I should have left him ages ago!!! He might say I am ugly, dirty, old, twat and whatever else he thinks I am but at least I'd rather be alone than with him! And I will find my energy and stand up again and build my life. I dont need him and to be fair I never really needed him. I was just foolish to fall in love :(

THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL AND EACH OF YOU FOR YOUR HELP

Stay strong, OP

Fantastic, you're brilliant. Keep doing what you're doing.

I'm in Australia so there's little I can offer in terms of help but I wanted to say "well done on getting to phd level!! That's amazing and you should be proud of yourself for how hard you've worked".

Not long now till you've finished and you can leave Aberdeen. Your life is moving forwards and you've got a great future to look forward to.

@MaitlandGirl thank you. Funny thing is I wanted to come and live in Australia after my phd but my ex hated the idea of leaving Scotland, because Scotland is the best country in the world (didnt you know?) and Australia is boring and claustrophobic!

He also hated me doing a phd, God thinking of how many times he tried to belittle me for anything I have achieved!

But I am free now and I can even make it to Australia :)))

You will look back in years to come and it will just be a bad distant memory....keep strong, take good care of yourself and look forward to your future with PHD will and can take you to Australia or wherever your heart desires.

I'm so glad your ok OP, and seeing that another poster met with you in RL and things are going well made me smile. There are kind humans out there. Good luck with everything , onwards and upwards

Thank you everyone. I have decided to quit my phd and move back home.

OP why are you quitting? Are you in immediate danger? If so, please, please phone the police. You can return home, of course, but please keep yourself safe in the immediate future.

Ahhhhh no OP-if it's only til the end of August don't quit now! It's so close & you've worked for it.

Why quit because of this twat?

You must do what you feel you need to in order to be safe. But PLEASE investigate every possibility before you give up on your PhD!

Speak to your mentor (or whatever you call the person who monitors your studies) or University security/police and explain. Ask if there is anything they can do to help you.