10 mths. OLD. Was going slow, no promises, no big declarations etc, just fun, living for now, and all great. Was seeing him 2 or 3 times a week. Then about 2 mths ago, he stopped coming over so much. Due to his "work and life pressures".
We've both been open about our issues. I've done masses of counselling and feel v self aware, although I'm still fragile in ways, but I'm a tough old bird and I'll be ok. Recently I discovered he's massively depressed, much worse than I'd realised. And not getting help.
I know depression well. I know it can make you selfish and insular. I know that's not the real him, but it's how his illness makes him behave. He's actually lovely. Kind, thoughtful, generous and fun! Just not so much at the moment. With me at least.
He says he has no-one. And he's started to hide away. Still texting a lot (but less than previously) and I now only see him once a week, and even that looks like it might be diminishing. I've asked him if he wants me to go, he says no. But I'm really getting the bare minimum out of this at the mo, and am having to remind myself constantly that it's not because of me.
He's also manipulated my emotions and guilt tripped me into getting his own way a couple of times recently, which has made me wonder if I can even trust that this whole thing isn't a smokescreen for something else.
We both know I can't fix him. My brain is telling me to end it, my heart doesn't want to. Can we recover? If I stay and try to support him can we get back to where we were and continue progressing? Or am I fooling myself into a non-relationship that's all about him? Does anyone have experience of life after depression with a fairly new partner? Am I a deluded doormat who's just here to pick up his self esteem?