For those separated/divorced with kids

[misswhatdoto2]

Stbxh and I are separating in august when the house sale completes. I'm just after opinion of what everyone else does regarding contact? Access days etc are pretty much sorted but when we are finally apart do you still send each other pictures of kids on day out etc? Also, do you make children phone their dad on non contact days? Obviously if they want to speak to him I will call him but do you do it anyway?

How old are the children? Once they are old enough to have a phone that problem will be resolved. Otherwise I think their dad should call them, preferably at an agreed time, eg just before bed, so there's a routine.

My ex and I agreed that all photos would be shared. Try to stay as civil as you can - it'll really pay off.

no, we don't share photos. Exh occasionally sends me photos if they're on holiday with him. My older kids have their own phones and just phone him whenever they want. The younger ones don't speak to him in between visits - they never ask tbh.

Mine are 7 and 8. They have a daddy phone so he can text/ring them or they can contact him and a family facebook account which is my family, his family and DHs family (so step grandparents) and everyone loads photos there.

Mine are 9 & 5, exh rings then usually every other day on my phone.

As for photos etc, no I don't share. The only time I talk to him is if it's schooling or health related, and only then if it's really important.

Mine are teens now but were 8 and 10 when we separated.
We have always had 50/50 contact. The Dc would always ring the other parent or the patent ring the dc on the other persons contact day just to touch base. Still do.
My exh has a really basic phone so doesn't share pics etc. I will occasionally send him one of them on messenger if they are doing something funny etc.

I think it really all depends on what your relationship is like - it is better to be amicable if you can. My ds is 11 and sometimes he rings his dad but mostly his dad rings/facetimes him whenever, I don't get involved. The only time I might get involved is if he's not replied to his dad for ages and I might just give him a nudge.
The 4 yo, she's not arsed. Never asks to ring, sometimes if her brother is on FaceTime with his dad and she's there she will have a little chat with him happily.
I might send him the odd pic of something special but other than that I try and keep contact to as minimal as possible. Hope this helps.

Dd sees ex fri-mon he sends pics of her at ballet etc, I send pics of her playing etc. He raises issues he thinks are important as do I. Communication is key still- as much as you can't stand him!

My DD sees ex EOW and a couple of nights each week after school.
I don't send photos, she doesn't call through the week, I ask her if she wants to, she has never taken me up on it, I've stopped asking. He doesn't call her or contact her when he doesn't have her either.
He sent me some photos recently- they weren't gratefully received and I'd rather he didn't to be honest. I didn't say anything though as I don't want rock the proverbial.
Again I try to keep contact minimal, ex has no regard for boundaries and would take a mile if I gave him an inch.