Another cheater

[Ishouldhaveknown]

I've just thrown my boyfriend of 3 years out. I caught him cheating - messages to another woman on skype, he left the screen open when he went for a coffee. I took a couple of photos of the messages and asked him to leave immediately. Reading them now is obvious he is using internet dating. He was trying to set up a meeting.

Fuck

There is so much i want to say to him. So many explanations i think I deserve. There is no point though is there. I can't believe anything he says. Besides it's over so no point. I wont get the closure I want. There are no reasons 'why ' that would ever be good enough.

Fuck

He lives with me so they'll have to be some contact for him to move his stuff out. It's my house. We don't have children so not complicated.

I really need to go to work (2 hours ago). I can't stop shaking :-(

Oh I'm so sorry.

Can you not take the day off? Have some sweet tea for the shock.

Have you told anyone? Friends etc. You probably need someone with you.

As for explanations, you know that all you'll get are excuses, they won't help you. All you need to know is he's not the person you thought he was and he doesn't deserve you.

What a dickhead. Unfortunately quite a few men on dating sites are attached. Some men are just born cheaters, they'll do it no matter how much they love their partner or how the relationship is, they always want extra.

Good for you in getting rid, he is what he is and you can do so much better than him. Thankfully you found out before you were legally tied to him so pack the rest of his stuff and leave it at the door for him. You don't have to speak to him and please don't listen when he tries to talk his way back in. You've had a lucky escape. It's much easier when there's no marriage or kids involved!!!

Can you take the morning off work and do you have any friends who would be available right now? Or go to the gym or for a massage... Something to relax you and stop that shaking.

Thanks for the reply. Just need to feel less alone. I can work from home this morning and just keep any eye on emails. I will go in later as otherwise I'll just make myself feel worse. I have text one work friend and arranged to go for a drink tonight x

I doubt he'll try and talk his way back. I know i will be okay but right now i can't see how i can ever trust anyone again. I wish i had mattered enough for him not to have done this

What an arsewipe!! You have dodged quite a bullet there, my love - thank goodness you found out now while it is uncomplicated to get rid of him.

Did you make the fucker leave his keys to your house?

I took the house keys whilst he was packing a bag. I'll change the lock tomorrow to be safe

I've just had "It was just banter, I was wrong not to discourage it"

He doesn't know what I've seen as I didn't go into detail when I told him to get the fuck out of my house.... twat

3 years, game over, do not take him back, he's showing you the real him.

I know. There is no way back. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship before. I don't ever want to feel that way again and living worth a cheat would certainly bring some of those old feelings back.

I just can't believe he did this. There were literally no problems. He just wanted the ego boost

What a giant arsehole! So sorry you've had to go through this. You deserve so much better. Why are men never happy with what they have and always thinking there is something better out there. As for saying it was just banter, well clearly not if he was trying to arrange a meet.

Go out with your friend tonight and let her support you. Big hug to you

So you now know he is also a liar as well as a cheat - trying to convince you that his deliberate attempts to set up a meeting were 'just banter'. So even if you ask him 'why', you won't get a straight answer, liars will just prevaricate and twist and give you 'I don't know/I just got caught up in the moment/it was flattering' etc. When basically they know perfectly well why, but they just don't want to admit to it.

You're well rid, but I know it won't feel like that just yet, especially if this was completely out of the blue for you.

I hope he feels as shit as I do. I doubt it, he'd already moved on.

Fucker.