Not sure what to do here?!

[Goodluvinnnn]

Hi everyone

MIL just washed my underwear (panties to be specific!!) and I'm not sure what to think/feel. I'd put them in the laundry basket to do later, she came over to the house while I was absent (to do something else which we had talked about ages ago) then took my laundry to hers and did it. I feel so embarrassed and angry, it's my worn panties I'm talking about here!
Not sure if I should have a word or be grateful for help though I didn't ask for it?
Sorry if post is typed funny, I'm still in shock

Sorry but I am laughing at your massive over-reaction!

What do you think she wears on her bum?

OK, so you may not like it or appreciate it, but you could have a quiet, kind word about it.

Can see why you're miffed but she was just trying to be helpful. I'm sure she wasn't inspecting each garment.

If the laundry basket was only full of pants though she probably would find that weird.

I'd just be grateful she did it tbh. It's nothing she hasn't seen before herself. Don't worry about it

I'd have been more concerned if she'd separated them from the rest and left them.

I wouldn't like that at all! My ex MIL used to natter about doing our washing etc which would have been kind I suppose if she hadn't been a poisonous martyr who would tell anyone and everyone we couldn't cope without her. Told her no way!

Your MIL could be seen as helpful but personally I would hate that! I'd find it intrusive and overstepping boundaries

I wouldn't like that either OP. I'd just tell her thanks but you don't need her to do your washing in future

Are there really women who say "panties?"

I'd always thought of that as a term used by silly men?

I assumed OP was American? Knickers is a silly word to be fair.

Panties????

Who calls them that!?

I'd be more horrified if my MIL caught me out saying "panties".

Isn't that only used by old men who wank to porn of worrying young women?

That said - I'd find someone doing my laundry intrusive - just not the garment type. It's not like doing laundry is hard work!

Reported

I didn't mean to offend by using the word "panties". In fact I never knew it's considered dirty/used by old men who wank until now!!

Naze what have you reported and why?

I'd just be grateful for such a lovely, helpful mIL.

Maybe she's going to bag them up and sell them on eBay

OP
Were there other items in the laundry that she washed too? If so, just say thanks but I honestly don't need help with laundry.

I've washed a hell of a lot of other people's 'panties' (host to international students for a decade) and never once looked, except the colour so I got them in the right wash. I always offered them a laundry net bag thing - some used it, some didn't care; some insisted on washing their own underwear themselves throughout the duration (sometimes months). Such different reactions to the same thing.

If you've been a mum you just don't look. But if you feel horrified then you just do, and you'll have to say something.

"panties" is a perfectly ordinary word for most Americans (in response to "are there women who use this word"). In the US "pants" are trousers.

I would be unhappy about this too OP.

I'd just say, "thank you MIL, it was a kind thought but please don't do our laundry in future. "

Personally i would think it very weird if my MIL took my dirty washing to her house!

I wouldn't dream of taking my DIL dirty underwear/clothes to wash. Why would I? Why would anyone think that was 'normal' ?

I highly doubt anyone on the thread didn't know about pants/panties in the US.

Well Shit given that three posters, including you, questioned the OP's perfectly reasonable use of the term I thought it bore repeating.

MN is used by posters all over the world. Given that, as you say, the American English usage is well known we could have avoided a derail.

I would never want my MIL in my home while I'm not there. Fuck knows what else she was up to.

Nothing else in the post read American to me, otherwise I wouldn't have questioned it.

"My worn panties" on the other hand is common parlance in small ads.

It's not normal or helpful, it's weird. Why on earth would she think to take your dirty washing to do? Mention it quietly and ask her not to do it again. Flipping weird.