Okay guys, going anon on this one and looking for some impartial thoughts/insights on how I should handle this -
To give some background, DH and I have been together for 18yrs (since we were teenagers) and married for the last 7 with two little kids and one more due in two months.
12yrs ago DH and I went through a tough patch. We had basically stopped communicating, were acting more like flatmates than a couple etc. He formed an attachment with a girl he worked with and he broke up with me for her in the end. He swears that all that happened before we broke up was kissing, nothing sexual, and I do believe him on that. To try and keep this short and sweet we ended up getting back together a couple of months later and while it was tough for a while, all has been good since.
Fast forward 12yrs and I am 7mths pregnant with our third child and I found out last wknd that he has been exchanging flirty texts with a girl he used to work with for the last two months. The texts were fairly innocent (nothing overtly sexual) but obviously the flirtation was there. He admitted that he had thought about acting on it, but that he wouldn't do it to me and the kids. They apparently had discussed the fact that there was 'something' there between them, but that nothing was going to progress with it. That being said, he did want the flirting to continue (until he got caught of course!) because he was enjoying the attention etc. The excuses he gave me were that it was an escape from the stresses of his life at the moment (he changed to a much more stressful job at the time this started) and that stupidly it hadn't entered his head how this could affect me and the kids.
I figured out what was going on because he was carrying on exactly the same way as he did 12yrs ago - texts constantly going all through the day etc so I checked his phone and found the messages. He admitted it immediately when I confronted him with the proof.
He is horrified with his behavior and the implications of what this might mean for the future of our marriage. He swears that he never discussed me or our marriage with her as he doesn't feel that we have any problems and he's happy in his relationship with me. I do believe him when he says that he wasn't talking to her about us, that it was just a silly flirtation. He immediately contacted her and told her that he wouldn't be in touch again and deleted her from his phone and social media and he has promised to avoid social events that she would be attending (they'd be in the same circle of friends).
Obviously I'm devastated that he would have so little regard for me and the kids and I know that I will have severe trust issues after this. I have told him that as the baby is due shortly and the other kids are so young he can stay until Christmas and we will work on things in the meantime to see if I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for us. The main issue I have is that I don't see how I could trust him again after this, especially with something similar having already happening in the past. I appreciate that he didn't technically cheat on me this time and I wouldn't even really class it as an emotional relationship as they weren't talking about their deepest darkest secrets/feelings. It was more of a very flirty friendship.
So my question is, am I over-reacting to feel so hurt by this (as obviously I am heavily pregnant and feeling quite vulnerable) or am I right to question his commitment to me and our future together (and the possibility of him doing something like this again!)?
Thanks