Intentions to cheat?

[Sotongirl83]

Long one so will try & keep it brief. After a 9 whirlwind romance me & OH were married & pregnant. He's my soulmate. I knew about his past: liar, serial cheat with an ex.

He's always been very jealous & paranoid of me (no need!!) fast forward we have a 4 month old who has been difficult with numerous health issues. OH behaviour has got worse quiet, distant, jealous (have to wear old clothes whilst he is at work, can't join a gym in case men look at me, not happy with me seeing my friends whilst he is at work. He moans constantly that we don't get enough time together-I agree. I have worked hard to get DS into a routine so we can have 'couple' time in the evenings. He has openly admitted he is jealous of DS.

Because of the above, rightly or wrongly I bought a pay & go phone & text him pretending to be a woman who he used to work with & had always liked.

He contacted me straight away after receiving the first message from 'her' he was annoyed that someone had given his number out & text her to say he wasn't interested as he was married to the most amazing lady in the world. I 'her' then replied 'can't I tempt you' he responded with: 'phone my work mobile, my issues checks my phone, who have you my number, don't text me she will chop my balls off.

On confronting him he said he was annoyed someone had given his number out & gave his works number so she could call him & he could find out & tell her to leave him alone.

He is going between being really angry with me (how dare I not trust him, how could you buy a second phone, bet youve been cheating on me with your second phone) to saying how amazing I am & he would never do anything to me

Guess I am just looking for an outsiders view.

Thanks

Doesn't matter really, you don't trust him. It's no way to live, with that constant worry in your head.

As an outsider I think you both sound ridiculous.

And I feel very sorry for the little boy that's growing up in that toxic environment.

Hmmmm 2 paranoid people in a marriage?

I would seek couples counselling.

Sounds like an awful relationship.

You still think you two are soul mates?

He won't let you see your friends or go to the gym! Jealous of the love you show your son. You feel paranoid enough to send texts. Arghh!

For me this would all need to be worked through before I could consider spending my life together.

You both sound as bad as each other.

A jealous, paranoid, controlling bloke with a dodgy history (and jealous of his own DS, at that!) is your soulmate?

How long before he starts hitting you & blaming you for making him do it?

Wow, this relationship sounds awful. Jealously, insecurity, controlling behaviour, lack of trust...
And he's your soul mate?!

Jeremy Kyle land.

I can only echo what has already been said, this is a highly dysfunctional relationship from both sides.

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. You knew what he was like and you went ahead thinking you could change him. The phone thing was just weird of you and I suspect you are lapping up the drama.

I'm now waiting for the Jeremy Kyle lie detector update.

I think he sounds awful and you don't sound much better

Pity the poor kid brought into this mess

My advice to you is get out of this toxic relationship before it fucks your dc up and set your bar a lot higher next time. Soul mate ? What a fucking joke.

None of that matters. He makes you wear old clothes and stops you going to the gym out of jealousy.

Run, RUN, fucking RUN!

Sounds awful tbh.

What is it about soulmates that always makes them have dysfunctional relationships?

soulmate??? Really doesn't sound like it.

This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. He's jealous of you and your DS, and you don't trust him. Just split up and focus on your DS.

Where's Jezza and his lie detector when you need him?

You both sound as bad as each other. You're pretending to be OW and checking his phone, he's worried you're constantly on the look for a new relationship.

You are not soulmates.

No you aren't soulmates or any other romantic bollocks you wish to attribute to your whirlwind relationship
It's toxic & your poor child is in for a lifetime of bullshit from the two of you, how miserable for him.
Do yourself a favour & split now, it will only get worse.

You've got a 4 month old child with health issues and you are finding the time / choosing the time to get another phone and set up this ridiculous charade to catch your soulmate out? You need to get your priorities straight and start looking after your child. Your relationship does not sound very loving or respectful. Not a great environment for your child to grow up in.

Wasn't going to comment but felt the need to point out that after a long hard road my DS's health problems are under control thank you.

Think we can safely say the 'soulmate' comment no longer applies.

In hindsight getting the phone was a shit idea (every done anything then regretted it..yep thought so).

I have never had a trust issue before & for want of a better word am a 'normal' person. I (stupidly) have taken out a LARGE sum of money in my name, yep heard them all more fool you etc etc, so would rather know now then do anything else that I'm bound to regret!

He's always been very jealous & paranoid of me

OH behaviour has got worse quiet, distant, jealous (have to wear old clothes whilst he is at work, can't join a gym in case men look at me, not happy with me seeing my friends whilst he is at work

This alone should be enough for you to leave. This is not normal behaviour!

You've rushed in to this relationship and now you've bought a child in to the middle of this mess.

^^ that exactly. Oh dear.

Not normal at all; he's probably jealous and possessive over you because he himself is the one doing the things he likes to accuse you of.

Why are you allowing this little creep of a man to control your very existence, get rid, he sounds beyond vile.