A new man

[Inexperiencedchick]

Met on POF. Met in real. Mutual attraction. Live in different cities. He is worried how to proceed. I don't want to move anywhere from London and don't want someone to move cities because of me. He said: "he doesn't want to hurt me in case it won't work out" Both muslims, hence the conversations like that...
Areas concern me:

• says I should move to his city;
• sometimes says things like: "he is an idiot" - to the stranger...

My question is:
How to find out that the man is not going to respect/not cross your boundaries?

Is going to respect/not cross the boundaries.

Have a long distance relationship before either of you makes any commitment. Also do you can see if he is generally disrespectful to people or if it was a one off.

If he wants you to move to his city and you don't want to, what's the point? Wouldn't it be easier to find someone in London where there's a huge choice already rather than have a long distance relationship? Especially as you met online where it's easy to limit your search to your own city Also, what do you mean by he sometimes says things like: "he is an idiot" - to the stranger?

I think if you have any doubt's about someone, they're not right for you. When it's right, you'll know it.

I let him go...

His words on the first date:

• "we can't even date properly as you won't be around when I want to see, if I'm free from work or shift"
• "if you give an answer and if it's no, I will go and find someone else..."

I feel down as I really liked him, but I can't afford to live in another city and travel for work to London. And he would only date me if I'm in his city, ready for his convenience.
These are the reasons I talked out myself from getting involved with him:

-Don't you have your own life and interests that you have to sit and wait for him whenever he wants to see you....
-He creates a problem, you offer a solution... Why?
-He doesn't seem to invest in you... Finds an excuse to travel to London for a date saying he gets tired while driving. He can use a train, why he doesn't want to?

He is not that into me, isn't he?! 🙂

Is Islam new for you? I've seen many of your posts in the past and I don't recall there being religion attached to them. I ask because my best friend is Muslim, and I know the implications and expectations of "dating" - in fact dating isn't allowed but I digress - is very different to the advice you may generally receive on here.

It's Eid tonight/tomorrow, don't trouble yourself thinking about this man, as I'm pretty certain all dating and romantic involvement is haraam during Ramadan anyway, and enjoy your beautiful celebration with your family.

You've done the right thing letting go. Enjoy your celebration... Eid Mubarak

I'm born Muslim, but family don't practice. I'm the only one who fasts during Ramadan, in the family. In contrast family is very strict. I date, but my dates are different to the dating style here. I don't go into someone's place, nor I invite anyone. I usually meet up over a tea or coffee and have a normal talk. That's called dating. It's okay with my family as well.

Thanks Token, Eid Mubarak to you too.