OH not interested in sex

[jaffacake32]

Just looking for some advice really.
My sex life with my partner really began to dwindle towards the end of my pregnancy last year, he assured me that this was because it felt 'wrong' to be doing it while I was carrying his baby, that this was the only reason and therefore nothing physical at all happened between us for the last 12 weeks of my pregnancy.
I had hoped things might pick up after having DS but he is now almost six months old and I can count on one hand the number of times we have done it, it is once every few weeks and between that no contact whatsoever. I feel so unwanted. He just does not seem interested yet has told me countless times he still finds me just as attractive. It is really getting me down as I feel that without that part of the relationship we may as well just be friends who live together. I have tried bringing it up with him numerous times but nothing has really come of it and I'm just not sure that I can live the rest of my life feeling like this.

You need to talk to him and be firm. Not just stating you want more sex but you see it as a lack of intimacy, connection between the two of you and you can't put up with a passionless relationship much longer. If he truly cares he'll do his upmost to make it better for you. Hopefully all works out for you

You need to stop making subtle hints and lay it all in the line. You deserve an answer to his neglect, and he needs to start being honest. You can't live this way.

How's he generally finding being a dad and the changes it brings to life? How would you describe DPs mood the majority of the time? eg: happy, anxious, nervous, worried, mentally exhausted? (general mood can effect libido)
Is the baby getting in the way? - Baby in room doesn't make a comfortable setting for romance in my book, being exhausted from being unprepared for life with baby and less quality sleep (unbroken, at night) hinders things too.

Above poster has answered some good questions, also are you initiating sex and cuddles and being rejected? Or waiting for him to initiate?

Asked, not answered.

Sometimes it's habit isn't it? I find with my dp that we almost forget to dtd for a while and can streach to weeks. I find getting back on the horse so to speak and doing it regularly reminds you how nice it is and establishes the habit. I hear what your saying about feeling like house mates and I don't think it's unusual to slip into this especially after a new baby. Intimacy is the only thing that really set a relationship with a partner apart from other relationships in your life (for most people?) I also think , in my life anyway that it's a huge myth that men have higher sex drives than women.

Are you initiating and getting the brush off? Is he stressed or depressed? Have you talked about it? I have mentioned to my husband and he will say what are you talking about we did it the other day and it will be 2 weeks ago or some times he's right and it was just the other day. I find it hard as I tend to equate sex with an expression of love and feel low when sex just drops off his to do list. Everyone ebbs and flows in where they are focusing their energies though. Give it time, be persistent but not so much as to make it a "thing" if that's possible keep talking, be patient

Beautifully put HotSteppa. I think a lot of couples get like this after their first, we certainly did.

We had our third last year and made a deal to dtd every day. It started as a bit of a home, but stuck and we now make time for each other every night.

Affection is so important in a relationship, not just sex, but you need to be assertive with your DH and let him know how you feel.

Home? That originally said joke. Bloody autocorrect!

Thank you for the replies, sorry for the delay. I'm not usually one to initiate, I think it's a fear of rejection more than anything. I did try last night but got nowhere and I just found it completely humiliating to be honest. I don't think that he's depressed, and DS has slept through reliably for a few weeks so we are getting plenty of sleep ourselves, so don't think it can be blamed on tiredness. I'm just not really sure what to do as I feel it's a normal part of a healthy relationship and it's just not there.

Was he a sexual person (high sex drive) before the baby?

One who would initiate more than you?

Even without sex, is there affection like kisses and cuddles?

Have you noticed any changes in him?

And I think it's fair for you to let him know, that you don't want intimacy forced on him if it's not what he wants, but the current level of intimacy and rejection is impacting on you and it's not sustainable long term.

It's not a threat or an ultimatum, but an expression of your feelings.