is there such a thing like a happy long marriage

[blueflower30]

I know that it can not be easy and it takes work. But so far i havent seen anyone to be happy in their marriage. Half of the people i know are divorced and the rest who stayed married are bickering all day or just ignore eachother. Its a bit disappointing

My parents celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary last week, they met when my Mum was 15 and my Dad 20 (can you imagine your 15 year old DD coming home and saying she was seeing a 20 years old, I'd have a fit).

They are still absolutely devoted to one another, they still hold hands walking down the street. It really does give you faith in human nature.

Been married for nearly thirty years and we are really happy. My siblings, parents,, in laws and lots of friends are the same. I know more happy marriages than divorced couples.

Was at a funeral last week of an elderly man who had been married 60 years. His dd, my friend, said they had always been lovers which l think is such a lovely way to see your parents.

We've been married 27 years and we are happy.

Dh and I have problems like all others, one of them huge, will never disappear and causes endless arguments between us, but the bottom line is he wants me to be happy and him me.

I was married previously to a nasty person and if I'm honest I always knew it wouldn't last, could never see us being old together. I know (health allowing) I will grow old with dh and I feel the luckiest person in the world.

My mother's brother and his wife as well as my mother's sister and her husband have both been married over 70 years. They're all in their 90's. One of them was a shotgun wedding because my aunt became pregnant and my uncle was due to be posted (it was during the 2nd world war )

I don't know .. I'm 22 and out of my close friends ( HS, college, uni) maybe 12 of them .. only 3 of their parents are married .. 2 of those not particularly happy from all appearances. It's more unusual for my friends parents to be together now ..

Sure, I know a few couples married decades who love each other to bits.

It'll never happen for me, but I do see it in others.

I think a lot of the unhappy ones are lazy ones. Too lazy to either leave or make an effort to improve things.

I have moments where I think is this really marriage? But I have 20 times more moments thinking how wonderful my relationship is .

If both parties are committed to making an effort then of course you can have a happy marriage.

Married 32 years. Been through lots of stages of course, newly weds, child free, IVF, small children, big children, teenagers (the most fraught time I'd say) losing our parents. Now emerging into late 50s knowing that we've weathered all that and will most likely have more to face but will do it together. Talking, as others have said, is absolutely key.

We've been married 32 years and god we've hated each others guts at times...in fact I could have throttled him just yesterday ...however, not in a million years would we be without each other. We have two gorgeous DC and are a very close family. I think people are just too willing to throw the towel in these days and not willing to ride the storms. My DH is a good husband and dad and we respect and support each other. For us it's always been about love and commitment and despite going through some difficult times have never wavered on those two . However, I would not stay in a EA or PA relationship.

We seem to have a high proportion of happy marriages in our family: both my parents (60th wedding anniversary recently) and dh's parents have been very happy. Uncle and aunt were the same, and both cousins. Dh and I have been together 30 years and also very happy. Younger brother happily married, two other brothers have had break-ups but are now (afaik) happy with new partners.

Dh and I enjoy each other's company and don't really bicker much at all.

Incidentally, I don't think it's about other people throwing the towel in too soon. When I read Relationship threads on here I am horrified by what other people (read: women) put up with because they think they owe it to their marriages or relationships. Nobody should put up with being controlled or verbally or physically abused.

Been married 8 years, been together for 17. Every relationship is different, some people don't get along anymore or were never suited in the first place. We are very happily married, we have the odd disagreement but we try very hard to see each other's point of view and support each other. The bottom line is, we are extremely close and have a very deep bond. But not everybody has that. We are lucky to have that.

Pink heart... how long married.

The OP was asking about "long" happy marriages.

I too was happily married when I had two babies!

I live in the NYC area and celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary this week. Marriage is hard work. We have 3 small DC and both work FT plus run two businesses on the side. We have a clear hierarchy in terms of our relationship always comes first, then the DC and then everything else.

It's really important you work together which means communicating. I also work off the premise that if we both put in 75% then 100% of the 'work' will always be covered.

Oh and in the NYC area there are so so many women here who try it on with DH. Drives me nuts.

Been together 21 years married 18 years. We have 2 children. I would describe us as very happy.

We love spending time together, as a family or individually with a child or each other.

I like him as a person, what he stands for and his naughty sense of humour

My DH and I have been very happily married for nearly twenty years, together nearly thirty.

My SIL and BIL about the same.

My DPs and PILs have been happily married for nearly 50 years.

My Grandparents, who adored each other, just missed their 60th Wedding Anniversary when they passed away.

Out of all my friends only one couple are divorced. The others all seem to have good marriages, they speak nicely to each other, spend time together as a couple not just as parents and support each other.

Out of all my friends' parents there are only one set divorced.

I'm sorry things aren't going well and that you don't have more role models of healthy marriages. I hope it helps to know that marriages can be be both long and happy.

Depends how you define happiness. Some people are much more easily pleased than others. I think it's a bit like jobs. Does your job make you happy? For some people a mundane job makes them very happy, for others the same job would make them very unhappy. I think lots of marriages are the same. Some people don't want much out of life and others want lots.

DH and i have been happily married for 32 years. We have had our ups and downs over the years but he is most definitely my best friend and soul mate.

My parents have been happily married for 58 years. Both sets of my grandparents were also married for a long time before they died.