How do I get through this?

[thinkiamgoingcrazy]

Typed a really long post and lost it!!

Can only be brief now as going to work.

What do you do if your H has totally dismissed your attempts to talk about needing to separate (for lots of very valid reasons - lots of emotional abuse and some financial abuse involved). First by laughing sarcastically, and second by telling me that he is not interested and I can play my games if I want to?

This follows months of not talking, and he is keeping this up.

It's okay in the morning when I am on my way out of the house, but the silence and ostracism really gets me down by the end of the day and is very debilitating. It's difficult not to be engulfed by depression.

I can write more later with more details.

You've told us enough.

You've given him a chance to talk, he's not interested, it's over, so start planning to leave.

Gather financial information, think about children's arrangements, look at what you can afford on your own for housing, scout out for good local mediators and solicitors, check out divorce advice websites like Wikivorce (if it still exists). Lots of good experience and support here on Mumsnet for you.

What are you actually expecting him to do/say? You have to follow through and make the moves on separation yourself, either by getting a divorce in progress or moving out/throwing him out/separating your lives. He's not going to do it for you.

You don't need his agreement to end the relationship. Maybe you're hoping he's going to suddenly change and be what you want him to be, but if you're serious about splitting, actually do it.

Go quiet. Crack on. Hear everything he says as white noise until it's over and......breathe.

He is abusive. He isn't going to "see the light" and be reasonable, whether you stay or leave. Make your plans to leave without reference to him, seek support, and prepare for him to be a dick about it.

In the meantime stop doing domestic work for him, unless you've already done so.

You'll get massive amounts of advice from here from people that have dealt with twats of all shapes & sizes and divorced them successfully OP. Get thee to a SHT (shit hot lawyer) and get the ball rolling. He is not your friend in this so stop expecting him to show any shred of decency. Do it in spite of him, it's the only way.