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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Domestic abuse support - what can I do?

1 reply

OohMavis · 21/06/2017 07:18

My SIL has had an awful relationship with my brother for years. He is abusive, controlling and violent. We as a family have tried everything, we've tried so many times to get her and the children away from him but she just went back. Nothing we did or no matter how strong she seemed changed that.

Until last week.

My brother assaulted my 12yo nephew. Quite badly. SIL waited until he left the house a day later and phoned the police, he's now been forceably removed from the house and slapped with something to ensure he goes nowhere near them. There is now, thankfully, SS involvement and they're finally DOING something.

But there are a few issues now. SIL, as a result of giving my brother all the family money to buy cannabis, fell behind on rent. She's in quite high arrears and the landlord now wants her, and all four children, out. I'm very sure he's not acting legally but SIL is leaving anyway, my brother is making threats through other people and she doesn't feel safe. I've directed her to womens aid, the nearest refuge with space is in Wales - we're in Kent.

She's been to the local council, they said they can't help her until she's homeless, and besides, with rent arrears she may be declared intentionally homeless anyway. They offered no other help. So she has a landlord who will be coming next week to get the keys, my brother who's lurking around, angry and likely to snap at her and four kids to think about, feed, clothe and get to school whilst she's run out of money until Monday.

She has arranged to go and live with her brother in another part of kent, but this isn't ideal because it's a one-bedroom flat... the kids will have nowhere to sleep. She's selling everything.

This is all such a mess. What can we do? Can anyone help?

OP posts:
youwillbepk · 21/06/2017 10:20

This is an awful situation, you sound like you've been a supportive ail and aunt, ask the council to look at situation again and make sure they are aware of the domestic abuse and why she's behind with the rent they may be able to help with some discretionary hb, also look for private landlords who work with council or take bonds the landlord has to have an eviction order and that would take a while which could buy her some time! I'm sorry she's going through this it's awful .

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