My friend....

[shanks313]

I have this friend...we have been friends a while now
When I saw her in November she wanted to see scans of my baby and hear her heartbeat on the doppler.
We didnt speak for a while because of a fight then when my little girl was born she got back in touch.She hasnt asked me one thing about my baby in 3 weeks since she was born,everything she knows is what I have told her.
She has told me that shes in close contact with other friends who are having babies ,yet shes showing no interest in mine.Today I got an email from her saying she doesnt have to ask about my daughter as shes friends with me not my daughter.

How would anybody else feel?

How old is she ? Sounds about 14 !

Also very rude - it is only polite to ask about baby - even if she doesn't actually care ! So she is rude, arrogant and immature !!

I'd ditch her !

what a complete cow! I wouldnt put up with that! your baby is a part of you and it is completely normal for friends to ask about friends children, especially new borns.

You dont need friends like that!

What an odd person. I mean, for example, I'm friends with lots of women but not really their DHs as I hardly ever see their DHs but I always ask how their husbands are. I even ask how their mothers and fathers are if I have met them or if they've been ill or something.

She has issues. Jealousy, do you think? Or is she trying to make a point that your baby isn't important? Weird. I'd sack her personally or let her just fade away out of your life.. ... ... .. .. .. .

Does she have children of her own?

I wouldn't bother with her anymore tbh

She is 25 and has no children of her own.

I think it could be jealousy because everything I say,she compares it to her and I know she wants a baby but tbh with some of the things she says...shes certainly has no idea about the feelings of a mother.
I wrote her back and said I want to be friends but I cant be friends with someone who has no interest at all in my daughter.

Yup, sounds like jealousy to me too. As Winkywinkola said, I'd always ask how my friends other halves are, whether I knew how they were, or cared, or didn't like them, they are still a huge part of a friends life, and ignoring it or blanking that part, well it's all a bit odd. If she has been having trouble conceiving, and you know of her struggle, then I might not BRING UP my childs every utterance or funny thing they did, in the conversation for fear of reminding her, but that's a different situation to the one I think you are in. Phasing out is an idea, if you feel the relationship can't be saved, but maybe you can keep it if you talk about other stuff? Can you have a good time with her when you aren't talking about babies? maybe she doesn't know what to say to a new mum, God knows, I had no idea at all on what to say to a pregnant colleage before I was preg myself (other than, God, you're fat)and the same with new mums. Until you're there you don't realise how much of a conversation can be had on such fascinating topics as baby poo, sleeping patterns, the debate on giving a do-do or not, and whether to swaddle or not?? Maybe she just has difficulties relating to how much a person HAS to change when a baby appears? Or misses the times you were able to go out with her before you had the baby. She's second place now, see? Good luck in handling it all.