Been called all these names since Saturday.....

[Naturebabe]

An 'ungrateful cow' (because I forgot to make him a cup of tea, at the same time I made mine).
A 'lesbian' (I've just had a new shortcut).
A 'tramp' because the kitchen is a mess (I'm the only one who ever cleans it).
The toddler had a little tumble (which I saved) and he said to the older one 'mummy caused it'.

What a charmer this soon to be ex dp is.........

Words do hurt....

You can let words hurt you if you respect the person speaking, but why on earth are you letting this man's words affect you? He sounds horrible.

that's not who you are.
those nasty words are a reflection of himself.
stay strong and move on.

Well you're right Imperial, I respect him so little now, that they are having very little impact. I just wish I had nice words from a man, that's all. I'm moving my kids out of my own dream home, moving county and leaving my friends and work, just to get away from him. He wont budge from the family home.

As I read, felt so glad when I got to STEXDP.
Roll on to a better life..

He's going on and on about money I owe him, despite never paying for food (he eats, as well as me and the kids), pays nothing for the kids - never bought them a nappy or more than a present once in several years, nothing for heating, council tax or mortgage... He did put 50% equity into the house, so it's half his....

Thank you out2pasture, I have to remind myself not to internalise them!

You poor love but I am glad to hear he is soon to be ex. Try not to take it to heart as he clearly has a problem. Every time he says something like that just imagine him looking stupid (eg massive willy on his forhead, in a clowns costume - be as creative as you like!) and it may help you realise his opinions are worthless

Glad you are leaving him. I agree, no one should speak like that but especially not to the mother of his children, disgusting! Get the kids away from him so they don't think that behaviour is ok

Those words speak volumes...............about him.

1. Clearly he's too fucking lazy to make his own tea.
2. his view on your "shortcut" shows that he world prefer that you conform to his idea of how you should look, which makes him controlling and he would prefer to see you as a chattel
3. he's so shit scared that the children will see him for the waste of space he is that he's trying to portray you as harmful. You're the DCs mum they won't believe it.

The words hurt because they are the tools he's established in an effort to control you and have you comply with his expectations. I'm glad you're kicking him into touch he's clearly a twat of the highest order.

Also, I showed some emotion earlier, which he described as 'pathetic'. Thank you harmlesschap, that is a good way to think about it, by flipping hos comments on their head, as a reflection of him!

You could also make sarcastic comments back at him:

1. oh I'm so sorry I didn't realise that your IQ had dropped so far you had forgotten how to make a cup of tea

2. yes you turned me into a lesbian

3. I felt a pigsty was fitting for the man of the house

Just ignore him otherwise. He's trying to make himself feel better when he doesn't deserve it. You're worth way more than him.

Obviously you need to LTB, absolutely no doubt about that but good idea to get some decent legal advice as to best way to do that if you have 50% equity in the house if you haven't already. He sounds like he would have no qualms in taking everything he can get. Good luck.

What a knob he is. Thank god your getting out. You probably know this but u are liable for half the mortgage if you move out, so just make sure you see a solicitor!!

A 'tramp' because the kitchen is a mess (I'm the only one who ever cleans it)

I had this one. The answer I gave was 'Well, if I am the only bugger who bothers to do it, I will CHOOSE the time I will do so. Do please feel free to break the habit of a lifetime and pitch in.."

Oh Lordy! He sounds like a card carrying arsehole. You relish that feeling when you leave, enjoy that sense of freedom. 6 years in and I still do. Every. Day xxx

Ps ask him if he's lost the use of his arms if he can't make his own tea or tidy up!

Good to see you're ready to LTB.

Agree that the only reply to complaining about something being a mess is to remind him where the cleaning products are and tell him to feel free to get stuck in.

So glad to hear you're splitting from this charmer!

Where does his money go? Does he work?

Even more pathetic is using his child to witness him verbally abuses you, don't even engage.