Is this it?

[Mikethenight2good]

Evening,

I am just quite confused right now.
Married, 2 young children ( one pre school and one toddler). I seem to have fallen into the organiser of the family. I have seen it on here as taking on the mental workload. That's exactly it. The days I resent it, there are days I suck it up. I have talked over to hubby many a time and I have come to the conclusion suck it up or leave. It is never going to change. We work great as a functional unit but as a couple, I miss us.

Then someone walked into my life and now my head is screwed. I like him. Really like him. I am attracted to him. He is not into me, he has a new partner and I am pretty sure he is not attracted to me. Guys like him don't look at woman like me. This actually makes me feel more invisible than I do. I feel quite heart broken over this. I just want to be desired. The centre of someone universe.

I can't seem to find my way out. My head is confused. Is my life like this because that is part of the course as we have a young family? Do I put the happiness of my family over mine.

Thanks for reading x

Perhaps have a conversation with you husband and tell him exactly how you feel and how you miss him. See what he suggests and go from there maybe.

Suggest something new and exciting for you as a couple and try and re kindle that old flame.

The problem is your relationship. The attraction to someone else wouldn't be as amplified in your head if things were ok with your other half. You probably need to address this which is the real issue. We are all attracted to folks but this sounds like you are feeling neglected and projecting that need to be adored on to this new chap...not easy as communicating that to your husband is going to be tricky depending on how enlightened a bloke he generally is...

Yep all good in theory but in practice who knows.
I am not sure I am invested enough to make him see how neglected I feel. How shit is it to tell the person who is meant to love you the most (bar kids) that they don't show it. I think deep down he loves me as the mother of his children, but as his wife. Who knows.....

Why have you decided you must "suck it up or leave"? Why not seek to address the problems, eg with counselling? Is the problem that you don't love your H anymore, or that you fear he doesn't love you, or treat you properly?

Forget lusting after OM and beating yourself up about being "invisible" to single men ("women like me"?): you're married for a start so most men will not see you in "that way".