Men: y u do dis?

[Thiswillbemyusername]

I have a question regarding men. Should probably ask a men's website but I don't know any so that's why I'm asking here because I asked Google and that gave me no answers.

Why do men mention how hot their mates girlfriends are? I've just had a second date with a guy and he said that his mate was punching above his weight, and he had this look in his eye which was like 'ive thought about doing her'. This has happened before with another date I've been on with a completely different guy

What I want to know is why the hell are they telling me this? I don't want to know how hot they find someone else. Why tell me? Is it disrespectful or sheer stupidness? Any help appreciated thank you

P.S sorry about the thread title Grammar Nazis I saw a meme once with it spelt like that and I dunno I just like it

Ive said it about friend's partners and discussed it with my ex who would say the same. It's definitely less about the woman and more a slight against the guy. (When we would say it).

For example a friend of mine who is pretty (but normal pretty iyswim) has a husband who has cheated on her repeatedly for decades practically. She's smart, she's funny. He's short, a weasely looking guy who is socially awkward but for some reason women keep havin sex with him I (and ex) have often said she's insane and he's punching far above his weight.

I also wouldn't class it as him saying he finds her attractive as such. It's more him saying she's better looking than his mate or as others have said.

Sorry clicked post...
Or as others have said, that she's a really nice person and his mate not so much!!

I've never said anything of the sort to anybody, even my wife.

Sure I might occasionally think it (that somebody is punching above their weight) as anyone might do but I'm not socially inept enough to say it out loud.

Yeah it is weird how he made that comment but then also is coming on too strong. We've been on 2 dates and he's talking about babies already :S he compliments waaaaay too much like 50 times a day. It's worrying me

so you think a bloke who wants babies after 2 dates is ok? Blimey - the hills, they are that way >>> This one has red flags all over him.

He sounds like a massive creep, OP. Why not get rid?

I know it's definitely red flags. I don't think I'm ever going to meet anyone normal it seems! I've reduced contact with him now

Because I've been single for so long it's really depressing :(

Surely it'd be more depressing to be in a relationship with such a twattish man?

Seriously, OP, settling for this kind of rubbish is going to massively reduce your self esteem.

Okay yeah it will I won't see him again then

How old are you, OP? Just bin him.

29 this Saturday (I know I probably sound younger I'm pretty immature compared to others my age!) He was the first person I matched with on tinder. There will be others i can match with :) he did come on waaaay too strong, sent me 30 compliments a day. My guts been telling me this isn't on

He's love-bombing, future-faking and negging you. (You can Google these terms if you want to know more). Major red flags.

lots of us have been single forever - surely that should make you raise your standards, not lower them. I refuse to give up singledom and autonomy over my life and finances for some bloke who leers over other women at date number one plus tells you he wants babies on date two. Have you heard of love bombing? Have you been in abusive/controlling/full throttle relationships in the past? Heard of the Freedom Programme? If so - then please do it. Can spot a loser like this a mile off.

And sorry but the calibre on Tinder is more than likely to be pretty dire. Yep I am sure there are some gems - but few and far between.

Yeah my dad is abusive and most of my relationships have been. I've not been very lucky in that way. I don't know what normal relationships look like. I was actually googling love-bombing the other day as I was concerned the rate of his compliments was insane and could have actually worked for another woman, luckily I found it a bit weird since I've been reading mumsnet for ages and trying to be wary of red flags

Do I have to pay for the freedom programme?

Online tenner I think, in person free. It is vital I think.

Well it does depend a lot on context - but the whole concept of 'punching above weight' is employed to mean that there must be more than meets the eye to people. So it's not meant as a judgement on women - but more that a man can be found attractive for reasons other than the obvious- which gives us all hope reality? You seem to be focusing on what it says about her (presumably being more attractive than said friend). I think he is telling you about his friend really - which can be relevant to a person?

Because they're dickheads.

Although if it is said in some sort of 'woof woof' context - move on really!

I'm a man. I wouldn't do this (and never have done this). I see my friends' partners as people in their own right, not objects to oggle!

"We've been on 2 dates and he's talking about babies already"

Just read this, run a mile. He just wants a girlfriend to have a family with, anyone will do. I had a male friend like this, his relationships never ended well as he wasn't looking to find someone compatible, just someone available.

I meant "I've just read this" - not "just read this", that sounded like an instruction!

"the rate of his compliments was insane" again, just like my old mate, he'd say them to anyone, he thought that's all a relationship was about.

Yes, exactly. A compliment from this man is no compliment at all. If anything it's an insult - to your intelligence!