Am I overreacting?

[Moppet5]

On Father's Day DH, DD, dog and I walked home from a local pub. It's on a fairly busy country lane without footpaths. DH and dog walked in front with dog on the left nearest the traffic.

DD became very upset as a car passed and asked DH to carry the dog, he refused, she became more upset and begged him. I asked him to please walk the dog on the inside, he refused , saying I was the problem, pandering to her, and there was no way he was setting a precedent by agreeing to what she asked! By now she was shaking with fear, sobbing and hyperventilating. It was a very long 10 minute walk, daughter was barely able to walk as she was so upset.

Since then we have been barely civil to each other. Have I overreacted?

YWNBU at all but your H was. I won't say DH as he sounds awful. Dogs should always be walked on the inside. To be able to watch his child in such distress and happily do nothing about it is just awful. I would be having serious words with him. What's he like generally, is it out of character?

DH could have been nicer, but it sounds as if you daughter is running the show with her outbursts and hysterics. She needs to be taught some self-control in dealing with her emotions.

Actually isn't it part of the highway code to keep the person between the dog and the traffic? So they can stop the dog jumping out into traffic basically, or so I assume. Maybe I'm thinking of horses but I would do the same with a dog. Keep the animal furthest from traffic so you can control it easier and keep it from danger.

I did try my best to reassure her, said everything was fine, dog was safe and enjoying walking, didn't need picking up and I pointed out that the cars were no where near the dog and they were driving slowly.

In that case your husband did nothing wrong and the issue is with your DD.

You realise that you're saying despite the dog not being in danger, he should have carried it to please her?

No, I have never said I wanted him to carry her, that would be silly, I asked him to walk her on the inside!

I guess it all depends on whether her fears were reasonable or not.

If it was likely the dog would be harmed, of course he should have done something.

If not, he'd be doing your daughter no favours long term to give in to irrational fears.

I don't think you are over reacting. Your DD got upset and instead of helping her calm down by having the dog walking on the inside he decided to use it as an example of how you pander to DD too much and to show he is boss..

Yes she will need to learn how to cope with her emotions but a country road is not the place nor time.

That was my feelings Orangetoffee

Perhaps he prefers to hold the lead with a certain hand (left or right).

I think this all depends on how he generally interacts with your DD.

I don't know if this was a one-off incident or if you are reacting this way, because it's one of a number of incidents.

I can say that I personally prefer a quiet life and would have walked the dog on the inside, if only to calm DD down, but in general I find men are less likely to do such things.

If all other aspects of your relationship are okay, I'd leave this.

If anything similar comes up again or even before it happens, explain to DD that as there was no danger to the dog, like cars driving slowly and a sufficient gap, then there was no need to swap sides.

Look at this from your DH's POV... it's like there is more concern about the dog than him.

I know that's not the case, and DD sees the dog as smaller and needing looking after... But I'm just trying to give a balanced and objective point of view.

Totally missing the point of the thread but Guide dogs are trained to walk/heel on the left hand side.

I love the way you are all so in control of your emotions! A little girl with adhd who is terrified of harm coming to her dog? Perhaps an overreaction to an adult, not to this child. If she was terrified she was terrified. If she is 'oversensitive' they are her feelings and should be respected surely. Sorry OP I have a sensitive 6 year old dd who does not have adhd and she would have been the same.

But you wouldn't want a blind or deaf person to be in the more vulnerable position. The dog is the one guiding.

Children and dogs are to be walked on the inside. And there's no harm in switching hands for the lead. He's a cock to say the least

Children and dogs are to be walked on the inside. And there's no harm in switching hands for the lead. He's a cock to say the least

Massively overreacting, you pandered to a childs overactive imagination rather than soothe her and you undermined him in front of her. I would be extremely pissed off if I were him.