STBXH won't leave marital home, can I make him move out?

[Longhairmightcare]

In process of separating. House deeds are in my name as STBXH has CCJs has been jobless for a number of years (sporadic short bouts of employment from which he always get fired/fails probabtion always some tale, never his fault). The deposit was paid by me using inheritance from parents and I have made (and still do make) every mortgage payment. Plan was to sell house, split equity (minus my deposit) and go out separate ways. House is sold, due to complete in 2 weeks. He's been living in spare room (paying no bills rent) in the approx 6 weeks between deciding to split and now.

He has now declared he has taken legal advice and 'knows' he is entitled to half of everything - house, car, my savings etc and wants to halt the sale of the house so he can continue living rent free as long as possible.
So I now want him to leave, things are no longer amicable and I no longer want to share living space with him, much less pay for the privilege.

Can I make him leave, and how?

Dacq thanks, I'd not heard of wikidivorce, I'll sent her the link.

I'm going to bed now, thank you to everyone who has replied.

It's not looking good from her POV though is it? He CAN just dig his heels in and stay put for, potentially, years? And she just has to keep paying for the privilege?

Dacq actual lol at idea of him being main carer. Despite being at home most of the time DS is in nearly full time childcare (grandparent - hers- the rest) and he can't be relied upon to drop him off/pick up at nursery when agreed. Can't feed him properly, claims no idea what possibly could give him to eat so goes to McDonald's. my friend has real concerns about leaving him with STBXH for more than a day when the time comes as, although he plays with him, he can't won't make any effort to do the day to day childcare/bedtime/what to dress him in/what he needs packing for nursery etc etc. Obviously he'll have to learn but he'll only do that when forced, right now he's happy to let her do it.

Anyway, my friends gone home now, so feels a bit weird to be discussing it without her here, also I'm massively biased towards her, so I'll say goodnight now.

Thanks again for the replies, it's been a bit of a reality check.

He is not the primary carer of the child. She will be able to force a sale but it might be expensive. He is unlikely to get 50:50. If I were her I'd be getting the shittest hottest lawyer out there.

It's not the same as the primary carer SAHM being left destitute and the courts will recognise some part of that.

Your friend was stupid to marry him. This is the price.

Well, no - it's not looking good for her - especially as you've just mentioned the rather important detail that they have a child together.

The good news is that the courts will not think it is anybody's interest for them to be forced to live together because he won't move out. He cannot stay for years. She could have the court order a sale, and that could include an order to sell to her - so she doesn't move out. Of course, the terms of that sale also ordered by the court could be 50:50 (including her deposit). No-one here knows.

But just because their son is in childcare, it doesn't mean that he won't claim to have been the main carer - for example, does he do the childcare drop offs?

5 years isn't a long marriage but I believe that cohabitation period is also considered (especially or only if you have a child?)

I hope it's in her favour that the house is in her name. But the people on here saying he has no rights are simply wrong, just because they think it sounds unfair, doesn't make it true unfortunately.

You could repost this in legal - tend to get less responses there, but more from people with legal experience. But it's all so grey that there is no replacement for her own legal advice.

Good luck to her

Remember that even if you end up paying to get them out of your life, it is generally money well spent!

If he's not on the deeds or the mortgage then as far as I am aware (and I am NOT a lawyer) he has no right to be there

This is not true. My ExH tried the old 'this is my house (his name only on deeds and mortgage) so you can fuck off out of it". We were married. It was my home. When we divorced I got 50%. However by the time his debts were taken into account I ended up with bugger all.

If the wifes DH has run up debts during the marriage those will be marital debts which she will also get stung for half of.

Frustrating I know, but your friend would need to prove he isn't the main carer, which may be difficult in their current situation. Doesn't necessarily mean she won't be able to sell but he may make a case for housing needs based on his 'parenting' responsibilities which would take precedence over hers as the working parent.

Like most things legal, how hard ball is he likely to be? Would he take on the full residential parent role to get his share? I would be getting a SHL on board asap. Good luck to your friend and well done for supporting her.

I had assumed there were no DC, so he is unlikely to get 50:50, especially as he isn't main carer!

There has to be agreement on the finances before the house is sold and he's within his rights to halt the sale if he doesn't agree with the split.

The cohabitation period is taken into account, especially if child was born pre marriage.

I think it depends on the size of the assets, if not too considerable she is best to agree a deal with him rather than go to court as costs will be >15k.

If she is a high earner she could be asked to pay spousal maintenance until he is back on his feet.

Her deposit unless protected is a joint asset as they are married.

the easiest thing for her to do is make him an offer, at the moment he is just getting the equity from the house minus the profit, if he fights he could be entitled to more but it will go on legal fees.

I suggests she adds a sum to that (1/2 deposit and 1/2 savings perhaps) just to get him gone so she can move on with her life

Hi, just wanted to inject some hope into the discussion for the OP's friend.

Firstly, this situation will come to an end, perhaps not as quickly as she hoped, but she will be able to move on eventually.

Assuming both parties are in their 30s, healthy and there isn't a vast difference in their earning capacities a court would expect the SAHP (if that is the route he is taking) to be working by the time the child reaches school age (she does appear to have lots of family support for pick up and drop offs) and self supporting. It is a short marriage so very doubtful long term spousal maintenance would be involved. Housing needs for both parties needs consideration with a child so the deposit may be forfeited to cover that.

I would strongly urge the OP's friend to begin divorce proceedings if she hasn't already, Unreasonable Behaviour for his lack of contribution financially and parenting may fit.

Mediation is obligatory to sort out the financials and custody issues before courts get involved. As Hermione said, avoid court as it's costly and a lottery.

But again, this will end, her financial obligations will end although they will always be tied regarding the child.

You said the house sale is due to complete in 2 weeks. Does that mean contracts have been exchanged?

If contracts have been exchanged, then there will be a massive financial penalty for not completing the sale. Is it possible that a massive financial hit on the 'marital money pot' would make him leave?

If contracts have been exchanged then I think she really really needs legal advice very soon.

I was thinking that too Happy. Best way forward may be to each rent something in the interim whilst the finances are sorted out which would need the agreement of the husband. It seems as if this has all been done pre-divorce which is okay (I did the same) but involves a degree of trust on the part of STBXH as presumably the house funds will go into the wife's bank account as owner of the deeds, which is where he may be getting twitchy regarding the sale. Again, divorce proceedings and meditation may be the way forward with the understanding that funds won't be touched until consent order agreed, with interim funds available.

Plus of course Working Tax Credits for him if he can be roused to work 16 hours a week!

When my cousin's wife left him after only thirteen weeks of marriage he was told by his solicitor that she would be entitled to 50% of everything as a starting point but that they could negotiate based on the length of the marriage.

However, she was entitled to come and go in the marital home as she pleased even though she had voluntarily moved out and the house was in his name only, paid for before they were even married. Once you marry all assets become marital assets.

If he is not working and she is then he will be considered the main carer for the child and this will count in his favour. In fact he may then be entitled to more than 50% of the equity. She needs a lawyer but should assume that she won't be walking away with more than 50%, and that her deposit is long gone as it is a part of the marital assets now.

Thanks so much for all your replies. Sorry for delayed reaction been working long days.

Thanks to your perspective it's apparent that DH could make things v difficult if he wants. itd also apparent that his main concern seems to be delaying having to get his own flat, he's just not equipped to sort it out. he's never lived unsupported, going from parents to sofa surfing, squatting in a friends uni halls flat, friends houses then moved in with my friend.

She's said she will help him flat hunt before Exchange of contracts on house, sort out associated paperwork, pay deposit and rent for 1 year. (And not to be the guarantor under any circs)! There's other assets discussed that they're either splitting or not, but thats main thing. That and she's getting her inheritance back.
He seems happy with that.
He'd never claim to be main child carer we don't think, he just wouldn't cope.
Although he's a huge man child and the very definition of cocklodger, he's not particularly malicious and she did love him once. I can easily see how he'd end up without a home quite quickly if left to his own devices and no one wants to see that. It's also better for DC if he is going to the same place consistently for visits.
FOr his part he's talking about how they'll be best friends and he'll babysit 'whenever she wants' and they'll hang out in 'his flat' all the time .

Thanks again for the all the advice.

Does anyone have any idea of what would happen if she sold without telling him? Id consider it tbh