Difficult sibling relationship

[WyclefJohn]

I have a very difficult relationship with my brother, and I wondered if anyone would be able to offer some tips.

Essentially, he seems to be a quite angry and bitter person, and it started in his teenage years. We discovered we had a medical condition, and him being older, although we were diagnosed at the same time, meant he was diagnosed when a little older than me. He became quite an angry teenager, and became an angry adult. He is now married with children, has a good job, and everything in theory, he ever wanted, but he is still angry and bitter. It means he cannot take any interest in what goes on in my life, and therefore very difficult to have a relationship with him. It feels, if I'm honest, that he is angry at me. It is so difficult to have a relationship with him, but his attitude makes it difficult? He is now 40, and it seems as if he is still angry at the school, at doctors when he was 13.

What advice can you give? Has anyone ever managed to turn a difficult relationship into a good one, or is it just time to leave it?

Have you actually asked him what his problem is?

I suspect you are just forever going to be associated with that difficult time. How much does it bother you? Confrontation could open a can of worms and make things even more sour. Do you get on with your brothers wife? If so she might be your best way forward.

I've never asked him directly what the problem is, but so often he will talk so angrily about doctors, or teachers. It's hard because he is so angry.

It bothers me not to have a good relationship with him, and that he seems to care so little for me. I'm afraid I don't have a good relationship with his wife.

For as hard as this is, I think you need to reconcile it in your own mind that his behaviour is not about you and it's not your fault. This is all on him.