Hi all, posted in step-parent section and was advised to post in here instead.
Met OH last year and we just got on like a house on fire but he had a part time girlfriend lives in different cities and according to him was never going anywhere and my own relationship at the time was dead in the water (sleeping in separate rooms, no conversations - more like passing house mates)
So we decided to have a fling (that's what it was meant to be) but it became more. I moved into his house quite quickly and all seemed well, few issues with OH daughter and my labrador puppy getting along but it's worked itself out.
In January everything changed. He'd had a few beers and we'd gone to bed, i'd mentioned his daughter doesn't really say please or thankyou and he flipped his lid. Called me every nasty word you could think of and it caused me to have a panic attack. My mum suggested i be more tactful when talking about his daughter as she's obviously very precious to him, it worked itself out and was fine til March. I'd asked as him to keep me in the loop of when his daughter was staying over as it kept changing and i couldn't make any
plans. Anyway he didn't and it all got very nasty again, to the point where threats were made and i clipped no him round the head and he then threw a glass at me and purposely scared the life out of my poor dog. He called the police and had me removed from his house after telling them some lies. I couldn't be bothered to fight anymore so left and went back to my parents. He was texting me during the night telling me he was sorry and the self loathing was kicking in. I agreed to speak to him the next day when the dust had settled and we sorted it out. The following tuesday i received a message off an unknown person to me, giving me a load of abuse about i'm a slag etc turns out it was his ex's friend piping up because whilst OH had me taken away by police he decided to email his ex apologising and groveling. I knew nothing about it until i was told by the ex herself. I confronted him and he said he was going to tell me when the dust had settled. I believed him but has always been an issue for me since. Given the circumstances in which we got together it's created a trust issue for me. I try and deal with it but it's just eating away at me on a daily basis. I suffer with anxiety but had it under control until these past few months. I love him dearly but it's becoming a daily struggle. I try to build a relationship with his daughter but he makes it difficult at every angle, he doesn't see her a lot 2 days/nights a week so sunday's are the only time we see her. I try to do fun girly things with her but he makes it hard, because every time i try to arrange something, he's going to his mother's or complains about what i'm doing with her (it was papier-mâché this afternoon that annoyed him)
Am i wasting my time here. I'm no angel and my moods could push a saint to the edge but i feel like i'm wasting my time and his tbh. He either wants me in her life or doesn't and i just don't know what he wants. He had her all to himself for 4 years and had no real serious relationships in that period so i don't know if he feels like i'm treading on his toes maybe?
I need help