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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I want more from my marriage :-(

2 replies

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 17/06/2017 12:55

God I feel like such a bitch right now. DH are definitely going through a rough patch at the very best. But I'm not sure how much of it is me, either expecting too much or being overly emotional and irrational (6 months pregnant with 2nd).

I just feel like we're existing in the same house at the moment. When I'm at work we're ships in the night, working opposite hours so we don't have to pay for childcare. When I'm at home, we still don't seem to spend much time together. We have a preschooler so obviously a lot of the day is spent with her, plus other things that need doing like housework, DIY, gardening etc. The days just seem to merge into one with next to no quality time together.

We had a date night last night as DD was with her grandparents. He'd got stuck at work so it was another 10 hr day for him before he got home and he was knackered. Asked if we could stay in and have a takeaway instead of going out. Not a problem. We ended up attempting to curl up on sofa for the evening (bump makes it difficult for me to get comfy) just watching TV. Our sex life - well let's say its not what I want at the moment.

I am hoping that after the baby is born that some areas of our life will improve. But there is a big part of me that is terrified that this is it. The same old routine of going to work / looking after kids, and collapsing into bed at the end of the day. Few conversations between us and those normally revolving around the kids. Not much to look forward to that isn't related to the kids.

I am not a party animal. It's not like I want to be out on the town every weekend. I'd just like to look forward to actually spending time with my husband. Talking over dinner or in front of the fire, and it not to be a discussion on potty training etc.

I feel so incredibly lonely at the moment. Like my husband is slipping away from me

How do I make things better? How can we make proper time for us with 2 small children and life in general to contend with?

OP posts:
AliceTown · 17/06/2017 12:57

What would your ideal life look like? What hours would you both work? When would you have the quality time you need? I think actually defining what we want our lives to be like is half the problem.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 17/06/2017 14:21

In an ideal world. I'd work during the day while DH is at work and DD is at preschool.
We'd have at least one date night a week. Not necessarily dinner out. Maybe just a candlelit dinner for two in the kitchen or the garden where we have grown up conversations.
In an ideal world I'd feel like my husband was as keen to spend time with me as I am with him, instead of wanting to crash on the sofa with a beer and the TV.

OP posts:
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