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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

am I being paranoid?

4 replies

user1488819536 · 17/06/2017 10:23

Not sure if anyone can help. Last year I had a miscarriage at six weeks and have not felt normal since. I am now pregnant again which was planned.
I have episodes where I am convinced my husband is having an affair despite no evidence at all. He mainly works from home, has no password on his mobile although he does take it everywhere with him,if he's driving and a text pings he asks me to look and see who it is. I know the code to the work phone and iPad. We go out once a week for a pub meal and talk and we regularly socialize with family and friends. When we went out this week he held my hand and had his arm round my waist when we talked to people. He is very family focused and has huge respect for his parents. He doesn't work late or stay away from work and we do get on well, have laughs etc. He does still hold my hand etc but I can't shake it off and its going to cause an issue in the end. I over think things as well. For example,yesterday, following a discussion about me being suspicious the day before he didn't have his phone. When I asked him where it was he said in the car. About an hour later I said he better get it ,he said it wasn't in the car, it was shoved under something in the kitchen which I found strange as he wouldn't normally do that. I then feel uneasy again. I asked why it was there and he said he didnt know why he had put in there.He does leave the phone in the bedroom when he goes to clean his teeth etc but I felt he was hiding it from me last night. I have asked him whether he is up to anything and he doesn't get on the defensive, although he does start to get fed up with it. I just don't know what else to do as its making me feel unwell with worry. I am sure I sound like a mental case!

OP posts:
HildaOg · 17/06/2017 10:32

You sound very paranoid for no reason. I'm normally a believer in gut instinct but there has to be hints and there isn't. You're suspecting out of nothing. I think you need to see a doctor.

MisterDog · 17/06/2017 10:40

Could you be transferring anxiety about your previous miscarriage and your current pregnancy on to your relationship so you can avoid those feelings?

Sorry if that's not the case Op, it's just what came to mind from reading your post. Almost as if you are so worried that something will go wrong that you are on constant watch for problems?

Dealing with a miscarriage is so difficult and even now years on I find I still end up feeling like something is going to come and snatch away any happiness I have... But in reality the thing that is most likely to ruin those happy times is the constant fear of something happening.

I agree with a pp, perhaps consider counselling?

corythatwas · 17/06/2017 10:40

I would book to see your GP; this could be the sign of some pregnancy-related illness.

Something has got to be done as life will become impossible for your dh if he can't even do something slightly forgetful and illogical like leaving an item behind and then not being sure what he did with it. This could drive him into a breakdown.

But more urgent is the thought of what is happening to you. This is not healthy. Get yourself straight to that doctor.

Josuk · 17/06/2017 11:38

I second the other posters. You seem anxioius, and possibly depressed.
Pregnancy hormones might be making it all feel even stronger...

See a doctor. Definitely now. And also - do keep on the lookout for post-natal depression.
Anxiety is one of the signs (one of many). And it was my main symptom of PND. It's a terrible feeling.
Get help.

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