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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating advice for a male who likes a single mum

13 replies

Anonymoususer169 · 16/06/2017 23:41

Hi there is a woman I like who is a single mother that I work with, I think she's brilliant and I'm impressed that she has returned to do complete shift work in our high stress occupation despite her circumstances.

In work we flirt a lot and a when we've bumped into eachother drunk we've been all over eachother, however we've went back to our flirty friendship which does get pretty deep with complements sometimes and conversation topics, we text eachother loads a especially at the end of our shifts when we both should be getting some sleep.

I'm constantly checking my phone hoping for a message, when I make sure that I don't overload her with messages because I don't want to be full on, we have lots of jokes that are between the two of us.

I can't work out if it's me reading to much in to a friendship due to working very close together in a job that you have to rely on eachother, or if there is something more.

I am 4 years younger than her and my personality might be to immature for her because she is a single mum, I've probably explained this really bad, but thanks for reading this normally I've got a lot more confidence with dating but this is different compared to most of my prior experiences with women as I've fancied a single mum before, but she's great and she doesn't see how great she is.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 16/06/2017 23:42

You mention 'single mum' a lot. She is a person, you know, beyond this.

Bloomed · 16/06/2017 23:44

Ask her out? That way you'll see if she's interested.

Dewey595 · 16/06/2017 23:45

You seem really hung up on her being a single mum.

user1496604328 · 16/06/2017 23:47

ImperialBlether I was starting to think her name was single mum.

TyneTeas · 16/06/2017 23:49

It's a bit creepy to be honest that you are attracted to the fact she has children

TyneTeas · 16/06/2017 23:50

Sorry, didn't mean it quite that harshly, but it does read as a component as your attraction

TyneTeas · 16/06/2017 23:51

Of your...

robinia · 16/06/2017 23:51

Don't overthink things.
Just be aware her availability is likely to not be great so if she can't go out because she can't get childcare she may be telling the truth, not giving you the brush off.
She may not be happy to invite you back to hers with a child around. This is normal.
If you do ask her out, maybe drinks straight after work ie nothing too pressurised.

StarHeartDiamond · 16/06/2017 23:52

Ask her on a date?

Josuk · 16/06/2017 23:52

You sound sweet. And you seem to genuinely like her.
As others said - ask her out. What do you have to lose?
Just be yourself. She probably already knows you well.
And, most likely, she likes you too.

HeddaGarbled · 16/06/2017 23:57

You do come across as a bit patronising. Lots of women are single mums and manage to work just like 'ordinary' people. Also, that last comment about not seeing how great she is, is a bit Hmm. There's nothing in the rest of your post to suggest she lacks self esteem and just needs your approval to validate herself. Please never say this to her.

However, undoubtedly, life for a mum, single or not, can be more complicated because she will always have to think about childcare and therefore not be as free to do things at short notice.

My advice is to pluck up your courage and ask her out.

user1486956786 · 16/06/2017 23:58

Easy! Ask her out for a drink/dinner/lunch/breakfast. If she isn't interested she can easily say no without affecting your current relationship/friendship.

anxiousnow · 17/06/2017 11:51

You sound sweet. Ask her out. Good luck

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