So Upset

[KeepFeelinLowOrGoSolo]

Have been on mumsnet a while but this is my first time posting.

Have been with my DP for 8 years now due to get married 2 years time. We currently have a 5 year old DD.

So things have not been going well for the past few months. DP can be very moody and starts arguments over petty things. Seems to have escalated a lot lately and where as before i would have stood my ground i now find myself crumbling to bits after every argument. I just feel so hopeless and low all the time.

Anyway after another stupid row this evening my DP informs me that he does not want any more children even though previously we have always talked about having 3 children.

He basically said i can take it or leave it (the relationship) and he doesnt care less what i do. I am beyond upset, its like all my lifes plans and hopes have just been ripped from me i honestly dont know what to do now.

Speak to your GP or see if you can self refer for some counselling or something. Feeling low all the time, and crumbling after every argument (which is sounds like they are often) is worrying.

If this is your day to day life I think you and your DC are better of without him.

I am not surprised you are upset and crumbling with a man who turns around and says i can take it or leave it (the relationship) and he doesnt care less what i do.

Life is too short for this. Cancel any plans to have to marry this man and start small steps to end this relationship as it sounds like he wants out any way.

So now hes just told me to pack my bags and leave and told me to go stay with my mother. How do i even go about explaining this to her and ask to move in !

Is your dd with you?

It sounds like he has done you a favour OP, but under whose name is your house?

The house is in his name he has now apologised and said.he just got frustrated promises to change and try and sort himself out but honestly should i even believe that !

No, hard for you to trust him.Your first post suggests he's emotional detachef from you which was confirmed when he said he could leave the relationship.

What else had been going on? Any changes at work..could he be interested in someone else?

I have asked that and he said there us no one else which i think i believe...he started a new job which i know is causing him a lot of stress and he has apologised for taking this out on me but still is no excuse

He said he realises now how wrong he has been which he has never admitted to before but i dont know how sincere he is and if there is anything to salvage

It sounds like you are in a very vulnerable position, OP, knowing that whenever he feels like it he will just boot you out.

I think you and your dd need more security than what he is willing to offer you.

I'd take him at his word.

Take dd and go and stay with your mum, it will give you somewhere safe and secure for the both of you.

So you and him can work on your relationship and he can not use the 'get out of my house' on, as it stands now he can demand you leave everytime you have a dissagreement or even if you just don't agree with him.

I second what a pp said, leave for your mum's of you can with your dd. Use the time to regain the balance in your relationship and consider what you are actually getting from this man and if it's worth continuing, it really sounds as though you are struggling.