Does my boyfriend drink too much?

[namechangexxx]

I need some advice on my boyfriend. So, he's always loved a drink and I knew this well before getting with him so I'm aware of what I let myself in for. He's not an alcoholic by any means, but when he gets a chance to have a drink, he will drink all night and get himself into such a state it's unbearable. He becomes a different person; not a horrible or mean person, it's just like he has a different personality (makes crude jokes, a bit flirty but nothing serious, very reckless and careless).
I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with our first baby which was planned and we are really happy. Everything else in our life is really good apart from his drinking which I hate.
E.g. We have just left the pub with our friends after going there from work. I've been feeling like shit all day, cried, etc because I'm struggling with my pregnancy ATM and how unwell I feel but still reluctantly agreed to go pub because a few of his friends were going as well as well as my friends (we went straight from work). We had planned to spend the evening together getting dinner. He was driving and had 2 beers at which point I said enoughs enough now (in private) and he then come over to tell me how he wants to go out out. I don't drive and obviously wasn't drinking so I mentioned that I found this a bit unfair and he got the hump with me for asking him to come home with me. Instead he went on to say about how he's booked next Friday out instead then to go for beers with his mates.
We're really hard up for money ATM and struggling to make ends meet so the fact he wants to waste all his money on drinking infruriates me.
Do I have the right to be annoyed?
I'd say on average he goes out 2/3 times a month, big piss ups with his friends where he'll start at 4/5 and won't be home until early hours so they're not just little visits to the pub with his pals. I don't want his drinking to push us apart

Two beers? Pints? I wouldn't drink and drive at all. Stupid.
Alcoholic is an unhelpful term. Problem drinking is more helpful. If he regularly binges to great excess then he has an issue. He needs to find a healthier way to let off steam.
Does he drink at other times?

Someone who cant stop after one or two drinks and goes on to get horribly drunk every time is a problem drinker. Of course more than 2 drinks is fine but not being able to stop once youve started is the problem. And he needs to be taking your pregnancy into account. Putting drink ahead of your dps welfare is not on. I would hate the change of personality too. Never discuss it while drink is around as you will get nowhere. Wait until another time when he is sober and tell him exactly what a horrible person he turns into and how you feel.

The fact that he has always loved a drink is in itself a red flag here re him.

It is a problem because its affecting you (and in turn it will also affect your child) and its already getting in the way of your relationship. Did you yourself grow up seeing parents drink heavily?. Alcohol is really a cruel mistress.

Al-anon would be worth contacting in your particular circumstances and I would also read up on codependency as its very common within relationships where alcohol is too much in the picture.

What would you call him if not an alcoholic? What is your own definition of an alcoholic?. They do not all sit on park benches, many do hold down jobs as well. Binge drinking as he is doing is not doing his own long term health any favours at all. Also such drinking 2 or 3 times a month is someone whose drinking is really controlling him rather than the other way around.

What do you think his primary relationship is with now; you or the alcohol. What is his priority here; he may well say you but his actions speak otherwise.

He is not going to magically change when your child is born either; he will continue to indulge in such behaviour at your overall expense both emotional and physical. I would therefore seriously consider your own future within this relationship going forward because such issues usually go one way and that is down. You have a choice re this man; your child does not.

My boyfriend

Also has a problem with alcohol and is home from prison since Wednesday. Trust me your boyfriend has a problem.

Unfortunately he has to change for himself or you're at nothing.

It would definitely be a problem for me. Has he got worse since you fell pregnant? Or has he always drunk and gone out as much as he is doing now? Did he tell you he'd cut down once you began a family?

He's not going to stop drinking unless he wants to and it doesn't sound like he wants to. All you can do is decide whether you want to bring your child up in a home with a father who can't control his drinking and spends money needed elsewhere on his social life.