Sex: AIBU?

[gillybeandramaqueen]

To not want any 'action' after 11pm when we have been up since 6.30am and all I want to do the minute I get into my bed around 11 - 11.30pm is go straight to sleep?????????????

Gilly. I don't want to piss on your parade of husband defence but he's waking up (or wasn't asleep) after 2 hours anyway. What is the difference for him waking up at 5.30 between going to bed at 10 after helping you or waking up at 11 to ask for sex?

If he helped you out a bit spiel you be up for you know, sofa sex like us parents end up doing? Or is it just you not in the mood for him at all?

Well you know the specific timings better than any of us - but husky is right you DO need to find time for it at some point or there will be problems. To pretend otherwise is foolish

My ex was like that. Pestered me for sex instead of doing his share of childcare and housework. He did end up shagging other people and they're welcome to him.

Have sex at 9pm and then do the chores together...

That's a hell of a lot of chores every day.

He goes to bed earlier because he gets up earlier around 5.30 - 5.45am

But you said in your OP that you get up at 6:30am, so how does him getting up 45-60 minutes earlier than you translate into getting to go to bed two hours earlier?

Sex doesn't have to be a fragile point within a relationship as long as both parties are satisfied with the arrangement - whether that's nightly swinging off the chandeliers, once a week, once a month or never at all. But a typical flashpoint around sexual frequency is whether one party pulls their weight at home. It's difficult to feel turned on by someone when you've just been scrubbing their shit stains off the loo whilst they've laid in bed instead of helping.

The chores are ones that can't be done during the day as they relate to teatime onwards ie unloading/loading dishwasher, washing the day's workclothes, tumbledrying, putting drying away........ I suppose he thinks that his share of the chores are done when he comes in from work as he does sometimes cooks, baths children etc etc. So I guess he feels he's done his bit! Tbh I can't see when would be a good time. For me the ideal would probably be around 9am after a long and good night's sleep! Or on an afternoon at the weekend but we always have the kids! Oh dear. All very unrealistic!

Why are you doing all the housework in the evenings? As your husband to help.

Husky, why so snappy, some people do have a very satisfying marriage without sex, I'm not one but I can see it works for some, doesn't make them any less a couple!

OP, perhaps you don't desire him because you feel he's not treating you well, or perhaps some other reason, who knows.

Fact is, if I had been up since 6.30am I'd not want to be shagging at 11.30pm either, and I'd not have sex with any man out of duty, I shudder at some of the women on here that give sex to their men out of a sense of duty or a feeling of inferiority to them, fuck that, don't do it unless you want to and you actually really like your partner enough to want to seduce them.