relationship ended but belongings still here

[tich31]

Hi,
My partner of 5 years walked out on me in early February. We weren't living together but he had stuff here. He came and got clothes etc and that's all gone.

But there are a couple of heavy items left in garden...I've asked him to come and get them but am told he needs to find way of getting them out of my garden. I have asked again but he always seems to use my request as a way to tell me how much he loves me etc and that he will get them soon. Then I never hear again.

I don't have means of getting these items out of my garden unless I pay but I paid enough at the end of relationship to do other things.

Can I just refuse him access now do you think? His things are now mine after a 4 month period or do I need to wait bit longer?

What if I gathered strength and put them on drive and they were taken - am I in trouble?

There are no receipts or anything...this is just moral. I'm a good person and even when someone has treat me really bad I don't want to be bad.

Thanks

I think I'd give him warning that if they aren't collected within the next two weeks they will be disposed off and then I'd do just that - freecycle Them if that makes easier for you than having them disposed of

You've been very patient, it's not unreasonable to give him a deadline (says me who still has stuff laying around in the loft from when my ex moved out two years ago lol)

I'd text / email and tell him that if they aren't gone within 7 days then you'll be throwing them away.

If he texts back and says that he loves you and he'll be round soon, reply and say "You don't love me and I'm not interested in your feelings. You need to come and get your stuff by X day or it's going".

If he doesn't collect, then stick it on a FB selling site - or Freecycle. Make it clear that it is collection only. Then block your Ex's number.

I think you need to keep the proceeds of the sale for him. (check one of the threads on legal board)

(i used to fantasise about posting ex's books one by one through the letterbox and seeing how far I could get them across the floor)

Susan - I wouldn't sell them. I'd advertise them as free for the first person to come and collect them. Job done.

Thanks...he hasn't replied and guess he will leave it a while. Thing is he knows that I am physically unable to remove one item....and I don't want to pay to have it removed as it cost me money when he left.

I just want it all gone as I feel it is giving him a hold over me...like he can contact me whenever about it and he is like that. He'll enjoy me asking him to remove it.
But as someone said I need to be careful legally as I've seen him in action and he will take things to the letter of the law.

If I could just get it onto drive I could then say just come and collect.

If you advertise on Freegle or Freecycle, or similar you can say buyer collects from back garden and you wont have to move a thing

Free cycle is a great Idea. The new owners can arrange pick up so you don't have to!

OK...I will try that. I guess tho I need to give him the 2 weeks before I advertise on Freecycle and is that legal for me to do that?

Nightmare.

You could ask for thread to be moved the 'Legal' in the hope you can get an answer from one of MN s solicitor posters?

I have experienced something similar - I was advised via various official channels that it comes under Tort Laws - this may be helpful, it covers landlords, but is a good overview: www.landlordzone.co.uk/content/uncollected-goods-in-rentals

We never lived together - he stayed over but thats all.
He's collected all other stuff from house but not these larger garden items and I want them gone.
It also means he can get in contact with me at any point using them as reason so that's just hanging there.
He knows I can't shift one of them.
I've emailed & given him a date I want them gone but he hasn't bothered replying.
Surely I can get them away somehow?
It means he's always "there".

don't just email - send signed for letter. Then block and change your number too. And ensure all social media is private and not accessible to him either.

'If you don't arrange collection by a 3rd party by x date I will presume you no longer require the items and will dispose of them accordingly. Please give 48 hours notice in writing before collection is due to take place'.

Just a thought.....am I able to charge for storage? Not that he would pay but wondered.

Thing is, how would he prove that he had said he wanted them back? If he's not answering messages now I would put them on Freecycle and not contact him again - if he ever does ask, say you got rid after the date you'd given him for collection passed. What realistically could he do?

Take me to court by sounds of it.....and he's quite vindictive naturally so could see him doing it. He could deny receiving emails....hence why I'm being told to send a signed for letter. I just feel that makes it a bit nastier but if I have to then so be it.

It isn't nasty to send a signed for letter; it is just an administrative task. His behavior at abusing your generosity storing his items indefinitely has brought you to this naturally progressing point.

His feelings are irrelevant to you, just as yours are to him from the sounds of it.

if you have written and given notice then he can't take you to court. I paid a solicitor to write the same letter - and I was told legally if he had that letter then he did not have a leg to stand on if he doesn't collect within the given timeframe. A letter is official and protects you. Sod what he thinks or wants. That is no longer your problem.