Should I call the police?

[Stuck16]

I don't know how these things keep happening.
Exh and I were discussing Father's Day today and I said could he please be around to help with swimming lesson for DS on Sunday morning- ex has the car, I don't, last 3 weeks I've had to walk with DS9 and DD3 in buggy the 45 minutes to swimming, try and keep DD3 in check during lesson- viewing gallery is a floor up and not very toddler friendly she keeps running off is a general nightmare and then we have to do the 45 minute walk home all because exh insists on taking car which is still joint as divorce not gone through yet.
He could take the bus to his girlfriends or she could pick him up in her car just to make life easier for the kids and I but he refuses.
There's no public transport options for us either.
All exh would have to do is leave his girlfriends house 2 hours earlier than he had planned in order to either take DS swimming or look after DD. That's it. He still has all day Saturday with her and night but he won't do it.
He then picked a fight because he doesnt like it when I remind him he choosing to put his girlfriend and himself before the kids.
I then stupidly said maybe I should message said girlfriend and make her aware she was OW as she has no idea apparently.
He said if I do that then he'll ruin my life and started saying "you like having somewhere to live don't you"
"Would be a shame if you were to have a faulty fridge and you lost the house" (in reference to today's awful fire in London) "remember who you're talking to"
So whilst he hasn't explicitly said he'd burn my house down, I've taken what he was saying as a threat to do that.
Is it? I feel really on edge and quite shaky now and this was 2 hours ago.
I know I was stupid to say I'd message OW- I wouldn't, I'm just fed up of having to be the parent all the time while he does nothing and I let my mouth run away with me.

He is threatening you. Please call the police dv unit, Women's aid, a friend

I would ABSOLUTELY report any threats to your safety. This fucking bastard needs to know you WILL NOT tolerate threats and intimidation. This is unacceptable.

Whose name is the car registered in? If it's yours then surely you should be in possession of it.

I'd call 101 and report it. It's an implied threat and I'd take it seriously.

I hope he doesn't have keys to your home.

I would also suggest you consider stepping up home security.

Call the police. You really never know what a person could do. Don't take the risk for yourself and your children of finding out

i'd report him to the police for threatening you too. But also, I wouldn't be fussing about a 45 minute walk, enjoy it, and get the children into good habits.

So easy to say than do but you know what, f**k him. It must be so bloody hard doing 99% of parenting but it is what it is now, enjoy it, make memories with your kids, they will be only be young for so long. Don't look back on these years with bad memories. Don't waste energy and sacrifice your happiness trying to get him to pull his weight, don't waste energy thinking about how useless he is. Ultimately it's him who's losing and missing out on memories and building relationship with his kids. He sounds like absolute loser of a man threatening you and your kids home.

I personally think it's an empty thread, just to keep you 'in line' and not ruin his new relationship.

It's not the walk that's the problem, we walk everywhere on account of no car, it's the fact that he agreed to be around and hasn't been.
He agreed every Sunday would be his day with the kids and he hasn't had them once.

I think it is an empty threat to keep me in line. I can do nothing but tow the line anyway as have no freedom or time to myself.

He does have keys to the house on account of him picking the kids up from after school club/nursery on the days I work and refusing to do it unless he can take them back to my house.
I've asked at work to be able to leave early to do it myself but they've said no. There is no one else who can pick them up apart from him.

He is the registered keeper of the car, again, only way he'd agree to do the school runs was if i signed it over to him. I have the sales receipt though so legally I am the owner.

I've posted about him many many times and everyone's very kind and give great suggestions- get a childminder, move to my parents etc but I've looked into them all and none are possible.
I have no family nearby and very few friends- on account of having zero social life, people gave up on asking me to things because i could never go even when he lived here.

I barely slept last night, even if it was an empty threat it left me terrified so maybe I should call 101

You have been in an emotionally abusive relationship and you are well rid but I think it's time to get tough and make it clear you won't be treated like crap. Report the threat. I would also be protecting any assets that were mine too.

Please report this.

You need to report this.

Who deals with the renewal of road tax? Could you get a form to change ownership?

I think you should speak to your manager or HR and inform them that it's really critical you are able to adjust your working hours in order to pick your children up. Let them know about his implied threat and that you are fearful... Even if you believe it's an idle threat.

I work in HR and would be happy to help you put a flexible working request in writing. Many employers say no, but it's a legal requirement to do so in writing and there are specific reasons it can be declined.

They need to provide evidence of the reasons as well. PM me if you would like assistance.

I would not let him have the keys... He's bloody useless. I do wonder who raises such men that turn out to be so idiotic. How dare he do that to you.

At the end of the day, if he dropped dead tomorrow, you'd figure out a way.

I certainly wouldn't want him in my house.

I hope you have a lock on your bedroom door. If not get one, just to keep him from snooping.

It's like he's hiding the kids from his GF.

Def report it to the police OP.

My dp was threatened by his alcoholic, abusive NDN - something like 'you better watch your back' or whatever. We took it asa a threat, reported it to 101. Police came round and took statements (long history wih NDN) and then visited him to warn him that further threats, or any interaction with dp would be taken as breaking the conditions of the warning (he could be evicted I wish!)

I know its not much, but it helps to have someone on your side - someone in authority. Might make him think twice about threatening you again.