Shall I just let MIL get away with it ?

[hayser33]

My MIL has no tact whatsoever and is also quite a jealous woman and my boyfriend does tell her off but she doesn't seem to listen.
I don't want to go on too much about it as I'm trying to not let it escalate too much as my baby daughter is due in 3 months and I don't want their to be an awkward atmosphere .
But..she facetimed BF last night and asked to see my bump (I am a bit plump atm I'll admit I also have massive body issues as it is ) she said I looked like an elephant or the size of an elephant or something like that !! Bf told her off but Ive felt like shit all day today .
Also my 14 year old daughter walked into the kitChen a couple months back (MIL isn't her "real" nan ) and MIL said to her in front of me bf and FIL "Er god you have alot of spots " luckily my daughter isint like me she's so secure in herself and it was water if a ducks back but still I was bloody annoyed on her behalf .
I really want to say stuff back but I don't want to make an awkward atmosphere as she will just say she's joking.
What would everyone else do ..as I said my Bf will have a go but she is a bit odd and doesn't take stuff in.
There's so much other stuff but it will take too long to write it all but some of it is rather outrageous really she's quite unbelievable! Kind of dreading the baby coming-god only knows what she will be like

I love this response.

"goodness, did you mean to be so rude?"

Thanks all for the advice I'll try the low contact for now it's hard with my mum tho as we are so close and she is great in so many ways . I think she is aware of how I'm feeling atm as I'm not the same as I was there's been a few times of late that I've blown up at her when she's started up with her controlling shit , wish I could do the same with MIL !! Different with ones own mum I suppose.
I think I fear one day I'll snap at MIL over something trivial and then I'll look the bad guy . There's always a final straw in these situations isint there

My FIL did this to our bloody French exchange student (!) patting him on the stomach at the dinner table and telling him he looked like he ate well ... I turned straight to the boy, apologised openly for FIL's comment and told him he often said things without thinking and he should ignore him. All with FIL still sitting there looking stupid. I used to just say nothing, but have now realised that if you do call him out, he doesn't say anything, as he knows he's in the wrong.

She sounds very hard work. And ignorant, and rude and whatever people are who say this stuff.

My MIL is like this but comes from a culture that has no checks and balances in what family members say amongst themselves. In an odd kind of way it is closer than polite restrained tact that could also be seen as dishonesty if people expect to say what they think.

You could try telling her calmly and directly that her comments are rude and very personal and make people feel undermined, and if (when) that doesn't work, just develop a MIL filter. Train yourself to not let what she says even enter your mind. And tell your Dd the same.

A strong filter stands you in good stead!