I had a very close friend a few years ago, for about 5 years. Probably the closest friend I've ever had. It ended very very badly (I will try to summarise this briefly).
Friend and I would drink/socialise a lot, and this became a bit toxic. She had multiple relationships with different men and I would find myself drawn in to these, lying for her etc. I tried to give her advice when she was endlessly 'heartbroken' or 'confused' over these men but she became cautious of having me around because I see it that I knew too much and she was concerned I would blab it to one of these men - some of whom were also MY friends too. She was also quite meddling in my love life and sometimes was unkind about me behind my back.
She started gravitating towards another female friend and I could see I was about to be replaced, so I took a step back from her. She did not like this - even though she had lost interest in me - and she exploded in an expletive ridden rant at me, out of the blue and then refused to apologise/denied that it ever happened.
After this happened I blocked her completely and blanked her ever since. But at the same time I lost every other single friend we had in common. I appreciate they felt torn but only one of them reached out to me - and told me that she was spreading horrible rumours about me having a crush on her or some such drivel.
I decided it wasn't going to be worth my while even trying to defend myself to anyone because she is so manipulative that no one would probably believe me anyway.
So overnight I lost my entire friendship group, social life and closest friend. It was like grief... it took me years to find new friends and I was so lonely.
I recently got in touch with a mutual friend because she had a very special event and I wanted to wish her well. This woman is very kind and not the kind to take sides, but all the same has not spoken to me for years. She has suggested meeting up. I do want to, because I miss her, but I know the ex friend subject will come up and I don't know what to say. I'm not sue if they are still in touch or what is the best thing to say or do?