I'm sure she meant well but it's upset me a bit

[cakecakecheese]

My divorce came through in January and I'm fine and happy but today would have been my wedding anniversary and as it's the first one since the divorce I'm feeling a little wobbly.

God damn timehop on Facebook means that photos from my wedding that my friends took will show up on their memory feeds. My friend took it upon herself to tag me in a photo suggesting I wear the dress when we go out on Friday.

I know she was messing about and the thing is she had a very bitter marriage end and was very happy when she got divorced and probably expects me to be the same but as happy as I am now I'm just not one of these 'woooooo I'm divorced' people.

So anyway I'm untagged myself and will have a quiet word when I see her I expect, I don't want to fall out with her over this as I genuinely don't think she meant anything by it, it just upset me a little.

She was suggesting you wear your wedding dress out? Why would you do that?!

Yeah just ignore her; she wouldn't have meant to upset you

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I'd tell your friend that you're still grieving and feel quite sensitive. Hopefully, she'll take the hint.

Isn't there a trend to wreck the wedding dress on divorce? Perhaps she's thinking along those lines - wear it on the town, and trash it as the night goes on.

I'm sure she's not thought it through as far as your feelings go.

She didn't mean to hurt you. I would let it go.

Good Lord,what was she thinking?!!

She sounds batshit!

Why would they even still have photos of your wedding?!?!

Why tears?
I'm no longer with my husband but I refuse to go deleting pictures because at the end of the day it's my history (I'm the one who did the dumping if that is of any concern)

Op. I had my wed anniversary recently, my first since the split, and yes ...time hop did exactly the same to me! But no friends picked up on it as far as I'm aware. I'd tell your friend that you're not quite in that place yet and leave it at that. Hopefully, if she's not an ignorant arse, that'll be that last thing said on the matter and you can move on. ( and an unmumsnetty hug)

Don't be too hard on yourself, timehop did the same to me a few weeks ago. I've been very happily divorced for a year now and even I had a little wobble. Despite the unhappiness it's difficult not to get emotional after (in my case) a 20 year relationship. It also met the guy I'm currently seeing on the same date so it was definitely a day of mixed emotions!

Pretty sure she probably meant to be supportive but got it a bit wrong

Tears It wasn't the friend that had the photo, it was Facebook. It brings pics up from exactly a year ago

That's what I'm saying why would anyone have photos on their Facebook of someone's wedding who is devorced? It seams very insensitive to me.

Tears Facebook stores them on its site. You'd have to carefully go through your photos from that time, deleting all the ones that you felt were no longer appropriate to your friend's situation. TBH I would find it weirder if a friend did that rather than just quietly ignoring the pictures! It sounds like you are not that familiar with Facebook (which is obv fine, but means your comments don't make as much sense as they would do otherwise).

You'd have to have the sensitivity of a brick to do that. If she's a friend close enough to tag you in like that, she'll know you're not in the "woo hoo" camp. Just unnecessary. It would make me quietly fume and wonder if she's being passive aggressive. Definitely have a word, but try not to fall out with her.

I never go back through Facebook and delete older photos, why would I?

Thanks so much everyone for the replies.

It's good to know that a wobble is fairly common. I'm feeling much better today.

My friend has been really supportive throughout my divorce but perhaps because I don't really talk about it, I prefer to live in the now, I have a lovely bf and life is good, she probably assumed I'm not bothered at all. Like I said I'll have a quiet word just so she knows not to do it next year!

Do we have a Mumsnet group for those whose divorce has come through and who are a bit wobbly about it? Mine dropped in a couple of weeks ago (no contact with him since he detonated the 'I'm not happy - bye!' bomb) and not sure how I feel about it...

For me the issue would be that she did it on Facebook and therefore other people could see it. If she had mentioned it in person to you then you would have the opportunity to laugh it off, tell her that you don't find her comment funny/appropriate etc...

The fact that this is in the public domain might give the impression that you are one of the "Wooooooo I'm divorced" gang, which you aren't.

Like you have said a quiet word with her sounds like the best option.

@Zaphodsotherhead I'm sorry to hear that. In my friend's case her husband cheated multiple times, was abusive etc so she was absolutely delighted when her divorce came through, with mine we grew apart so it's sad rather than 'woooo' and it sounds like yours was a bit of a shock to you so I can see why you'd be wobbly too.

Thank you, cake.