House move

[Hairgician]

So dp is looking to sell up and move. House is his as he bought it before we got together.
Due to various reasons I'm not going to get into Here, this next mortgage will be in his name only. I can't go on it.

So we (actually he) had been looking at couple of houses. He went and arranged viewings that I was just expected to be available for.
He it seems, has decided on a fixer upper. Cos it's cheap. I have few concerns and really don't feel it's the right house for us. We currently have 1 dc and trying for another. The house is 3 bedroom, however 1 is downstairs and close to front door. The other 1 rooms upstairs I feel are on the small side, and once we have dc2 and they ready for own room would mean moving ds1 downstairs. Hes only 3.5 at the min.

I wouldn't mind all the 're furnishing as such if I knew we would be left to get on with it without meddling from other family members on his side. Namely his sister.

He's not actually sat down with me and asked me how I feel about it etc. Everything is ' I, I, I' and not 'we.
I know if I bring this up hes going to get defensive and play the 'it's me paying for it' card and I should be grateful hes putting a roof over my head.
If he goes ahead with it I will never feel like it's home. Am I wrong to think this should be a family decision as it affects us both?? I might not be making financial contribution at present but that's not permanent. I will be contributing by running the home and doing all the usual cleaning cooking etc.
Really fucked off with myself for being such a doormat.
Sorry this is long. Need a rant.

Quite right to rant. He is being a muppet. It costs a small fortune to move house snd sounds like this will be a stop gap.

appeal to his wallet if you cant appeal to his common sense. And it goes without saying that if you're not married to put in place some financial protection!

Well for 1, stop trying for another DC.
When this all falls apart and you are left homeless with 2 small kids it won't be any fun at all.
Are you on the current mortgage?
Why you can't you go on this mortgage?
Can he get you added to the deeds?
Or write a will to ensure that you and the DC are kept financially secure should anything happen to him?
You are leaving yourself very vulnerable financially if you agree to go along with all this.
Start to take back control and don't put up with him telling you how it's going to be and you just trotting along behind.
No! You have a voice - use it!

Why on earth are you even talking about having another child with him?

There may be very good reasons for it to be legally his house and not yours, so I won't say that is why you shouldn't have another child.

But you clearly don't have a good relationship- so that's reason one for not having children.

And reason two is that it's never a good idea to have children with a man who throws about the 'I put a roof over your head' crap.

You've chosen not to marry, and he bought the first house and is paying for the second - that's fine if that's how you agree the boundaries of your relationship. I get final say if I decide to change the house that we live and I own - but he is not bringing up my child. (I wouldn't be an arsehole over riding him though)

If you as a couple have decided that you won't be earning money then you also need to agree all the boundaries - which for me would include joint say in the house.

Don't move. Just stay put