Subtle signs of controlling behaviour

[fridaykitten]

Hi,
A friend recently brought to my attention some subtle signs of controlling behaviour that were present early on in previous relationships. For example, 'we always get this wine' even though I'd said I don't like it, 'this is our favourite restaurant' it wasn't mine but that didn't seem to matter, 'you should go to the gym, you'd look better'.

I know that these might seem like nothing but it is the pattern of comments/behaviour like this that had I been alert to it could have been a warning before things got worse. At the moment I'm single but I'm dating, I don't want to fall into another controlling relationship. I wanted to know, what subtle signs would you look out for or give you early warning of such behaviour? Apart from being vigilant for this, is there anything else you could recommend I do so that any relationship is a healthy one?

Thank you.

Those 3 examples aren't "nothing" to me, they're all showing a disregard for your thoughts and opinions. As for the last one, following my previous relationship any sign that they want to "improve" you in some way is a huge red flag!

I think , for me, it's about the way I feel with them. If I'm worried about voicing my opinion or if I feel like the relationship is unequal then these are tell tale signs for me.

Those things you mentioned aren't nothing at all. I think a good sign would be if you said no to the person or disagreed with them, what would their reaction be, tantrum, silent treatment, no compromise or anger, all bad.