Is there a divorce checklist out there?

[WingsofNylon]

We have just been told that MIL has been left by her husband (second husband) and she is really distrught. She is a very anxious person anyway who relied on him for support in every part of life. (Doesn't drive on motorways, can't work internet or email) As such she will really stuggle to navigate her way through all the admin and planning of divorce. DH and i haven't got a clue where to start but threads on here always seem to be full of help.

Could you help me make a check list which DH could take her through?

Details:

• we are in the UK
• She works only about 15 hours a week due to hip difficulties.
• Married and own a house with about 8 years left on the mortgage
• We think they have a joint account.

She is the sweetest lady you would ever come across.

Try divorceaid.co.uk
The Law Society

It is common for solicitors to offer free 30 min introductory appointments. Book several to find one MIL thinks she can work with or get a recommendation.

The following are great starting points.

www.gov.uk/divorce/overview

www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends

www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-sorting-out-your-finances-when-you-get-divorced

Hope this helps.

The best advice to give her is that she will be ok. I remember my mum panicking when my awful father left her and in the end she had a much happier and richer life in all aspects afterwards so make sure you keep telling her it will be ok.

Go to the solicitors with her as she won't be able to take it all in. The links above are a great starting point but what I find is some people just focus on the divorce part (decree nisi and absolute) but you also need to point out how important getting the financial side sorted is before the absolute in terms of a court order.

Thank you all. This is really helpful. We love 4 hours away but are going up to get to be at fish solicitor meetings.

She has acces to a joint account, he has said she can have the money in it. Should she be moving this to get own account? Is this a plot on his part to distract her while he hides other money? Sorry to ask so many questions and sound so synical but he is not really the most trustworthy man.

Remember pension sharing.

Be aware that anything in a joint account is considered joint property so taking the entire sum may present problems in the future.

In theory she would be entitled to 50% (this is the starting point for financial matters) but this would depend on many variables depending on the circumstances, future agreements and or court applications on finances (if any)

If you can get him to agree to this in writing (via an email or something) beforehand you can show that it was agreed to in advance, should you need to.

Hopefully it wont come to that.

But what is said today, can be retracted very quickly in the divorce process so it's better to be a little cautious in these things.

Having you there at those initial meetings will be very helpful.

I recommend taking a pen and a note pad and jotting anything pertinent down. The meetings can fly by and it is very easy to forget what was said, as it's naturally a very emotive process.

Any reputable solicitor will be happy for you do this.

Hope it goes well, it can be quite positive knowing that things are moving forward.

www.wikidivorce.com Is very good, I used it when I was recently divorcing after a lifetime married. They have cheap fix priced solicitors if it’s just a straightforward divorce with no financial stuff to divide. Plus you can ph
them for free advice. Their forum has some savvy contributors too and
it can help make you feel a bit less bewildered by it all when you can pick the brains of those going through it.
If your mil is thinking of doing a DIY divorce there’s help for that too on there.
Good luck.