I dislike my dh

[PumpFanLamp]

That's it.
I can't be bothered anymore.
He annoys me. I'm surrounded by his mess. I wish he'd leave.

I'm sorry you feel this way.
What can you do about it?
Can you leave?
Life is too short to spend it with someone you don't like.

Well if he won't leave - can you leave?
I wouldn't live with someone I dislike and I certainly wouldn't want to be surrounded by their mess.

I can't really afford to leave.
We have a child which makes it hard. I've told him that I want a divorce but it's just become something I say. He's just a stranger to me. A messy hoarding person who I used to know.

Today I got told off for not doing any parenting. He did none for 3 years. I actually enjoy the fact that he now has seen how hard it is now I work full time.

Nursery bedding wasn't done because I didn't do it. I knew he hadn't done it and come Monday would be amazed that it wasn't done. So I let him find out for himself. That makes me a shit person but I'm so over being the one who makes and packs everything.

And now he's taken up smoking again.

You can't stay with someone you don't like, it's a really bad atmosphere for your child to grow up in. You will be able to manage, get help from family members or contact Citizen's Advice.

Could you go to family for now?
Just to get away from him.
The fact he does the parenting now is a curve ball but there will be ways around it.
Have a chat with CAB and see where you would stand if you were to separate.