My husband and I have been having difficulties for a while, but this is the first argument we've had about our daughter, who is 2.
On Sunday she woke up at 5. I went to her and spent a bit of time trying to see if she would go to back to sleep, but she was well and truly awake. So I got up with her and left husband in bed. He got up a bit later and came down to join us.
Anyway DD starts demanding toast when she sees daddy, and he makes her some and then asks if I can make him some while he feeds her. No problem, and whilst I am making him toast, DD comes through to see me. I pick her up and give her a cuddle and then ask her if she wants to go back to daddy to finish her toast. She wants to stay with me, which is fine, but in typical toddler style she is into everything - she wants the knife, to stick her fingers in the toaster, to play with the water in the sink. So I am constantly fielding these things, saying 'no, you can't play with the toaster you could hurt yourself, here's a spoon why don't you play with that etc etc'. I'm quite tired as she doesn't sleep well and was up stupid early. So it culminates in me getting a bit short with her - not actually shouting, but I did say something like 'for goodness sake, can you stop doing that, mummy is trying to make breakfast'. At this point husband comes in, looks disapproving and says 'oh great, your moaning again already. Can't we go one day without you having a go.' About 10 mins later he disappears upstairs.
I finish breakfast with DD then go upstairs to get us all up. Find DH in bed asleep. Ask if he is ok, he says yes and seems alright. So I got me and DD showered and dressed. We play for a bit and after about an hour I ask DH if he is planning on getting up. He asks what's in it for him, is it even worth it since I'm always moaning. I say to him that if he came and offered to help that would be better than him judging me on it. He says I should just ask for help.
Anyway this all heated up into a massive argument, I'm not meaning to drip feed but I can't go into it all now it would take too long. But later, when trying to make up, I asked him if he was liking to put it behind us. He said he wasn't sure he could forgive someone who thought it was ok to have a go at a toddler.
I didn't say I thought it was ok. I just said that he could be more helpful, and even if I asked for help, I'm only human and sometimes I'm going to get stressed and probably going to get snappy. I don't like it, and I'm not justifying it, but I am often very tired and DD is lovely but very demanding.
Do s this make me a terrible parent though, to accept that I may sometimes snap?