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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

That line between good friends and something more

3 replies

OneCabbageTree · 10/06/2017 11:17

I have a good friend, and am wondering whether we are dancing close to that line between friends and more so interested in advice. We are both single, although in my case not long out of a long term relationship.

We message most days, ranging from proper conversations that share a lot about ourselves to short "how's it going?" "how was your day?" messages. These are initiated equally, and sometimes the conversation frequency feels quite intense. We spend a lot of time together in a group, and usually end up having a good one on one conversation too (ie the last ones left at the end of a night). We do some things just one on one, but he is often reluctant to do this so it's usually initiated by me. But he'll message, for example I'll say "want to get lunch today?", he'll say he's busy at work, but then will message afterward and say "how was your lunch, what did you get?"

We talk to each other when we have problems and provide a lot of mutual support, and he is much more open with me than anyone else in our friend group and has told me some things about him he says no-one outside of his family knows. We talk about previous relationships etc but he doesn't really tell me about any current things/dates etc he has going on.

The only man I've been this close to before was STBXH, and then that happened. I am thinking about it as if we are getting close to that line I'd need pull back as wouldn't want to hurt him. If he's not into me like that anyway, though, I really like our friendship so would keep going as is as I really place a lot of value on it and he makes me laugh. He's never made a move, though, so I am probably overthinking it.

What do you think?

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 10/06/2017 12:18

Doesn't sound like he's interested in you in that way, if he's reluctant to meet you.

TheNaze73 · 10/06/2017 12:48

I think he see's you as an option & no more than that.

JaneEyre70 · 10/06/2017 12:56

He doesn't see you in that way if he's reluctant to spend time one on one with you, sadly. But we all need good friends, enjoy what you have together but look for romance elsewhere.

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