Should I leave him?

[ButwhenShewasBad]

A couple of nights ago I had an argument with my partner, it was silly and I was probably being really annoying, I'm due my period so have been a right misery an plus with being knackered from work I was probably naggy and snappy but he said things which have made me question weather I should be with him.

We had the tv on and he put something on I didn't watch to watch I asked for something else he said no (sounds incredibly childish I know) and I thought no it's my house I can watch what I want, so I turned the tv off with the remote on my phone , he then goes if you do that again I'll smash your phone up.

I ended up telling him to leave, and that I felt like packing his things, he replied if you touch my clothes I'll set all yours on fire.

We have two dd together and I've never heard him come out with these like that, it's sort of put me off but I'm kind of thinking too maybe it was my fault for being annoying? The bickering was daft but when he come out with smashing my phone up I felt like it went up a level!

You two sound as though you'd be better off living apart. You both sound childish but he sounds as though he's verging on violence.

The argument was a couple of nights ago - how have things been since then, OP?

He hasn't been here Ziggy, but is demanding to come back as he has nowhere to go.

If you have two DD together you've been together for some time. When you've fought in the past how does it usually go? Are you both normally more rational (PMS aside) or are you blazing row, throwing insults type people? If this is the start of a slippy slope I would get out, but if you've both just said things you don't mean and can move passed it then maybe hang on. My DH and I have always been don't go to bed on an argument type people, which is irritating when I'm tired and want to sleep but its worth not letting things fester for days.

We are normally rational, we've split up once for a couple of months. When we argue I can never sleep on it so even if I am pissed off I have to sort things out. We have had blazing rows he's called me a dick a few times but nothing major, but never threatened to smash my phone up or set my clothes on fire which made me . I don't know if I just pushed him which is why he said it, or really he's just a complete dick.

DIck. What is this relationship bringing you?

Do not take him back, you'll only have to ask him to leave again.
When a man tells you who he really is, listen to him.
Things might not be so straight cut next time.
Be strong OP.💐

Nothing really, I suppose whilst I'm working he's there to have the kids. There is no affection anymore I don't think odd kiss.

Whilst arguing after I told him to leave, he mentioned how I'm saying it so easily, I asked what he meant and he said since I've been working like I don't need him as I have my own money an that just made me think.

When we split for a while last year I had to claim benefits which I didn't like and I think obviously he enjoyed that because he took 7 months to come back (I asked him to get back together but each time I got let's see how we go etc)

Well there's your answer - say "let's see how we go" to him.

You sound like you were very childish in th arguement. His threats are awful. But you clearly don't like each other, so end it. It's not about that one argument.

Yeah he is a total dick and is seeking to control you. You have issues around anger management and need to think about that (escalation as an alternative to resolution is always a bad thing) but the line about working reveals what he really thinks and wants. You at home and reliant on him, regardless of what he is like or how he treats you.

This isn't really a good environment for your kids is it. You clearly don't like each other, are not a team with a good splattering of boredom and contempt for each other.

Don't fall back into it just because he doesn't have somewhere to go. If you're at the point where it's easy to kick him out then don't fall back in to the usual.

Was OP really being childish? What are you supposed to do when somebody lays down the law with no discussion? She had the choice of submit or rebel.

OP he sounds to me like he wants to be the boss. Previously he could control you more easily because of your financial situation, now you're financially independent he's turned to threatening you. If that doesn't work where will he go next?