first date - personal questions?

[grittypetal]

is it ok to ask personal questions when meeting someone for the first ime (old) - such as, for how long and why have they been separated?

Well don't use it as an ice breaker but if the conversation naturally steers that way it's ok.

How long is a perfectly OK chit chatty question to ask.

The why - not on a first date.
I am an honest person but I wouldn't like to have told you the truth "I found out he had a prostitute habit and dumped him". It's very personal.

If I had a good vibe with you I'd have given a wry smile and said "cheating bastard ". Otherwise I'd have lied - "realised too late that we weren't that suited".

now we met and when the conversaion turned to his ex he sorta badmouthed her - is it always a red flag when they speak bad about their ex?

Id say yep. Definitely. Even if its true he would seriously lack the social skills I require in a relationship.
Or he's not over her and you are a rebound date.
Next!

I agree with donajimena. Poor social skills there.

I think bad mouthing the ex on a first date is not great. You want to be showing your best, upbeat charming side. Honesty is fine - so 'didn't work out' or a wry 'turns out there was someone else' and then change the subject. Grousing / bitching about an ex just makes someone se not ready to move on

Run from a man who bad mouths his ex on the first date. Trust me on this. Even if she was a horrible person, it shows how immature and petty he is.

Yes. Bad-mouthing an ex - particularly on the first date - is a red-flag no-no.

Agreed. He's either not over it, playing the victim or just isn't very nice. Why does he want to tell you about his ex?

I'd be put off.

Totally agree. Shows he's still emotional about her on some level. IMO it's fine for ex's to be talked about later. It took a few months before I confided in my DP about why I was separated. And even then I wasn't emotional about telling him, just matter of fact.

Ha, yes, I bad mouthed my ex when I went for a drink with now DH 20 years ago! Even though he liked me, and I thought he was totally wonderful and would have leapt at the chance to be his girlfriend, and was totally over my ex (he was a mutual friend, so dh knew him well) it put him off and we didn't get together for another 4 years. I was definitely emotionally immature. Thankfully I've grown up a bit! and we've been together for 16 years now.

Huge red flag. I got dragged speed dating once and several of them just ranted on about how much they hated their exes.
It was obvious all of them had deep seated issues with women. Run a mile.

Bad mouthing an ex is like bad mouthing a previous employer. You don't do it at an interview.