My partner hit and kicked me

[user1493721527]

Hi I'm after some advice please and not to be criticised......
Basically last night me and my partner had a argument last night whilst we were in bed, at first we were just arguing with each other, then out of no where he kicked me. I tried to leave it at that and go to sleep then he completely lost it, he kicked me of the bed and then started punching and kicking me and screaming in my face. ( to which I ache a lot today as you can imagine)
The problem I've got is this isn't the first time, he hit me a few years ago and put my tooth through my lip. I always said then it happened again then I would walk away (even tho I no I was stupid to take him back the first time) I'm so confused and don't no what to do I love him but I no I don't deserve to be treated like that, and don't want my little boy growing up seeing things like that, I've got no one really I can turn to as we live in the middle of nowhere and I don't drive so have to rely on him to take me anywhere and to be perfectly honest I'm scared stiff of being on my own, I just don't no what to do, any advice would be brilliant x

Don't want to sound like I'm criticising you..... but it's obvious that you need to report your (if not already then soon to be ex!!!) Partner to the police!

Then take your child and leave

I've been there, thankfully not when I had kids, though I did lose one due to abuse. It won't ever stop and it won't ever get better. As pp said, take your child and leave.

So sorry to hear this has happened to you.
His behaviour is appalling.
It will v likely happen again - sorry.

Do you have any relatives/anyone at all you could move in with while you make longer term arrangements. You could alternatively contact women's aid and see what can be done about housing yourself & your son somewhere not isolated.

You will be ok on your own (you may meet someone else after a while; though that's a lot further down the road and not important now), it will be an adjustment but you'll be ok. Better that than being someone's punch-bag.

Being on your own is far better than being kicked, punched and screamed at. You need to find a way to get away from him. Ring women's aid

Are you able to ring Women's Aid for advice? It's 0808 2000 247. They will be able to give you expert advice.

If you're reliant on him for transport then leaving is not as simple as walking out with your child. Do you have any access to money - could you call a taxi? Or do you have any family who would come and get you if they knew you were in danger? Even if it was a long drive?

Even worse that you have a little lad witnessing this kind of disgusting behaviour, I get that you love him, you can't possibly live the fact he has now beaten you up twice; I am sorry OP, but you must leave, and I'd also report him to the Police.

What a total cowardly creep of a man to do that; utter nasty prick.

Call the police immediately, get him away from you and your son. Also call Women's Aid. Take care

Please call the police and either have him removed or ask them to take you and your child to a place of safety (family, friend or a refuge if a space can be found).

I no I need to leave but i don't no to tell anyone what's happening to me if that makes sense. To be honest I haven't really got any family as we don't talk, so all I've known for the last 5 and a half years is him and his family, I'm scared stiff of saying the wrong thing as he jumps down my throats over everything. He's shown no remorse for what he's done it's like he's not even bothered. I was bought up with my dad beating my mum up and I always swore that I would never let my child be around someone like that. He's got such a short temper and always blames it on the fact he's stressed or he's tired. Fair enough he goes out to work but he does 4 on 4 of and to be honest he comes home and says he's had a easy day but I work as well and I'm tired, I no if I left I wouldn't be able to work due to child care I would have nothing, I would get him removed but I would never get rid of him completely as he's family live just around the corner, thank you all for the support and advice

I've never felt so alone and trapped in my whole life

If you left you would be entitled to benefits love. A women's refuge would help you with all this, Women's Aid will have the information and advice you need. If you can get a family member to come and get you or a taxi to take you when you're ready, you can leave when he isn't around. Have you taken any pictures of any injuries or bruises you've got so you have a record?

Right thank you and yes have taken pictures of injuries I will ring woman's aid when he isn't around

OP you need to leave him, the previous poster are right. This will not stop and you will never stop being aftraid of him. I know it's hard, especially when you have no one to tell, but please either ring the police or women's aid.

The fact that your parents had an abusive relationship meant it was more likely that you would end up in one. The fact that your son lives with parents who have an abusive relationship means it's more likely that he will be in an abusive relationship. You can stop this now.

Are you safe this eve and over the weekend, or can you get away quickly?

Thank you everyone, I won't be able to get away Tonight as he will be back from work any minute but he's at work all weekend so I should be able to sort something

Good luck and stay strong. Thinking of you.

Good with taking the pictures.

He's some man isn't he?

Yes, you need to end the relationship because he will never change and is likely to get more violent. For your ds as well as for yourself you have to get him out of your lives. You will have a far, far better life without this man in it.

You need to call the police and report him. Without documented evidence of his violent abuse, he'll have unsupervised access to your child when you separate.

I'm so sorry this this happening to you. I have been there and know how your feeling.
The only thing I can say is it won't change, if anything it will just get worse.
'Men' like this like to isolate their partners so that you feel too alone to leave, they like to feel they have the power over them. I lost all my friends during my relationship and didn't see much of my family either, as I was always with him and his family.
But one day when he was hitting me it was like a light bulb moment and I thought 'I'm not having this anymore' even if it meant that life was totally different and lonely for a while anything was better then feeling scared and getting abused, so I left that night while he was in the bath, went into hiding for a while until I felt safe and never seen him again. It was the best and bravest decision I have ever made.
You don't have to live your life scared and abused, you deserve so much more. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Xx

I understand that it's hard for you as you love him and feel like you've invested so much time and effort into a future together. But I want to reassure you that being on your own is not as bad as you think. Having been on my own for a number of years with 2dc to look after I can tell you that leaving my abusive partner was the best thing to ever happen to us.
I won't lie and say it was easy but once you get into your groove you wonder why you ever stayed and tried to understand someone who will hurt you.
Please leave him and learn to love yourself.

Oh, love.

I really feel for you and I can only echo what others have said. Please, please leave. He might not hit you again for a week or months or even years but he will always hit you again and you and your child will live your life in fear. I completely understand that you love him and don't want to leave, hes abused you and conditioned you to be afraid to leave. I understand how hard it is, I really do. I've been through it myself and come out the other side and I even managed to testify in court against him resulting in him being found guilty of GBH, assault and battery. I promise you, you can do this. It is going to be so, so tough. I nearly went back a few times after I left but with support from my friends, family and womens aid I didn't. You can do it, please PM me if you want to talk or a hand hold. I adored my abusive ex and would apologise to him for being such an awful fiance that he had to hit me. His hold over me was frightening and I found it so hard as my friends and family in real life kept asking me why I stayed, they couldn't understand that why I was putting up with him and living in this cycle of abuse and neither do I now, looking back. Please speak to womens aid. They opened my eyes.

How are things, OP?

By staying you are giving him permission to continue with the abuse - please please leave him, give yourself and son the opportunity to build a new, happy, abuse free, life.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.