Teen romance and emotional abuse.

[carameldecaflatte]

My niece is 14 and in a relationship with a boy who seemed nice enough. However she has confided in me that she tried to end it and he sent her photos of him self harming and also his mum texted her pressuring her to get back together with him. So she did.

I have told her that she is not responsible for his actions and that staying with him won't fix anything and will just make her miserable. I said she has the right to end a relationship if she wants to without discussion.
She says she wants to be friends with him so I have suggested that she tell him she doesn't want to be his girlfriend but would like to be his friend as long as he stops trying to emotionally blackmail her into anything else and if he does she should block his number and delete him from social media.

Any thing else I could say to help her?

I was wondering if anyone could recommend any online resources I could point her to to help her understand what a healthy relationship should be like for teens?

Scarleteen is quite a good online resource about sex and relationships.

Thanks for that category12. I'll pass it on to her.

Have you told her parents about what is going on? Boys like this are very dangerous.

I can't Aquamarine. Her dad died when she was 5 and her mum has recently gone into a long term rehab program. She lives with her half sister, bil and kids. She is close to her sister so I think she would have told her but I will find out. She is seeing her gm next week so I might have a word with her too.
I worry about her because she hasn't had much experience of how a "normal" relationship should be.

I would be really tempted to contact the lads mum and tell her about the self harming texts and also that it's not acceptable to pressure her into getting back with him. Ask her how she would feel if you text him to pressure him into get with her.
Apart from that, I think you just need to keep the lines of communication open and be there to support her and encourage her in her decision but without forcing her.

I agree with the above. I would definitely want to have words with this boy's mother. She sounds as unstable as he is, which makes this situation even scarier. Not only is the boy an abusive gaslighter, his mother supports this behaviour! I'd read that bitch the riot act.

Oh she's very vulnerable. I would support her as much as possible.

I don't know the mother at all so I don't think it's appropriate for me to contact her (if things do become worse I will) and I'm not at all close to her sister (I married into the family) but I have let her gm know what she's told me and she will try to steer the conversation around to the subject of relationships without letting her know that I have said anything.

Yes, I think she is very vulnerable category12 and I don't want to alienate her by "telling" on her. On the other hand, to see her fb posts you would think they are the perfect couple (I know it's not necessarily a reflection of real life) so I am trying to keep an open mind on it all as she does have form for lying, but to be fair she was in a shitty position with her mum at the time.

In the meantime I have passed on a few links about what a healthy teen relationship ought to be and I am available any time she needs to talk. She knows she has my support.

Thank you all for your help.