Jealous

[mummysworld080213]

I no I'm being really selfish and unreasonable but I'm kinda jealous my cousin has a rule where every Friday he buys his fiance flowers and showers her with gifts the latest being Vivian Westwood jewlery and flowers I'm lucky to get an anaversary card and I only get flowers if my husband has splashed out on something expensive for himself or if he's broken something I no they don't have kids at the moment but sometimes I'd like to be a bit spoiled

It's not unreasonable to want to be spoiled.

It is unreasonable to compare two completely different kinds of relationships.

Does your partner know that surprises would/are nice?
Do you surprise your own partner?

I disagree with constantly buying your partner gifts TBH. it kind of sounds to me like buying affection/keeping someone.

What do you do for him?

You don't need gifts and flowers, I'm happy with small things like a cup of tea, gifts are lovely but it's not all about money, my husband did recently go abroad for a few days, he had some bad news but he still found time to get my favorite chocolates and magazines. It's thoughtfulness that I like.

I've found that couples that make all these public displays with gifts and flowers all the time usually have rocky relationships. One minute they're flashing the cash and spending on each other, next minute they're splitting up!

My DH isn't very good at this sort of thing and I accept that because I don't particularly like showy gifts. We've been married over 30 years.

I would be grossed out by gifts and would assume the giver was guilty, or putting on a show for others.

I judge behaviour.

Besides, as Beyonce said, you're an independent woman, you buy your own rings :)

You don't need to be 'spoiled' - ultimately that's only going to lead to disappointment. Buy the things you want yourself. Then you can never be disappointed :)

Oh, I'd love a boyfriend who bought me over priced tat that I didn't want once per week regular as clockwork... that would make me feel so special... not.

I'd be weirded out by a boyfriend behaving like that. A rule? Bloody hell. Nothing like spontaneous shows of appreciation and love, hey?

He must think his girlfriend is a bit shallow too, if he thinks she just wants expensive gifts all the time.

The flowers are nice if they both like them, and a nice little end of the week routine. But expensive gifts? No.

Curious as to what you buy for your boyfriend though, OP?

I agree Rous, I think the ones who flash it about are trying to buy each other's affection and mend something that's going/gone wrong!
I'd rather my husband remembered my favorite brand of jam when he did the food shop, or brought me a cup of tea in bed if I was having a lie in. With saying he did choose a beautiful perfume for me once at the duty free when he came home from a week away, we've never spent that long apart and I was really touched as he choose one that was 100% my type, I was touched that he knew what I'd like and obviously spent time choosing it and didn't just pick up any old one!

I'm actually feeling a bit sorry for your husband here. Who sounds like a decent sort - flowers for you when he's tested himself, or broken something. And now he's being negatively compared to Flash Harry.

You should have held out and married someone who has no imagination, OP

Your cousin's a creep.

I'm the kind of girl who hates my husband wasting money on flowers, I would rather that money would go towards some chocolates/crisp or a takeaway for us. Some days after work he will walk in with my favourite drink and snack/chocolate/magazine and that is what I love. A present that i actually want and it isn't forced.

Although last weekend we was away, he's disappeared in the arcades for a while and came back grinning he had won me a tatty bear teddy in a bag that said " I love you "

Oh, I'd love a boyfriend who bought me over priced tat that I didn't want once per week regular as clockwork... that would make me feel so special... not.

Indeed.

I used to work with a man who did this. He had a series of affairs.....