Am I the most selfish person alive?

[haggyloops]

Married for nearly 8 years, together for 12 years, have 3 children 2,4 and 6.

We have been having problems for probably 18 months, not massive in comparison but I just feel unfulfilled. We don't have sex, he rarely cuddles or kisses me and I am an incredibly tactile person so lack of affection is hard for me. We have been to counseling and he had made ago many wonderful plans of how to fix things but that's all they are - plans

I have asked to separate but I just feel so selfish. Do you really rip a family apart because I'm a bit miserable?. We get on, we have a giggle together but I think we're friends. I said to good last night about why he wants to stay together and he said for the family, not once did he mention me!. We could stay together and be perfectly ok but I just feel I'm missing out. I would need to say that I don't matter for that to work.

We don't argue, and have just talked things through. I just feel so sad as I really do love him. How did it get so hard?

Any advice appreciated. I'm worried about being on my own with 3 children, I'm worried about him, I'm worried we will mess our children up but mainly I just think ate my reasons just not good enough.... X

You have a right to be happy so yes, your reasons are valid. And if you are still getting on and can try and split amicably that will really help your childten adjust. Seize the day. Be happy. Good luck x

You have every right to end any relationship for what ever reason you want

I would take a different view as you say you feel unfulfilled..that may not be related to him but a signal you might need to focus on yourself.

You have 3 young children, I can't imagine how draining that must be for both of you and may last for another year or so until nursery etc.

Regarding affection, do you reach out to him? If so what is his reaction?

You seem to have a lot going for your relationship, being able to communicate and laugh together is a good base.