Sick.of our relationship being so up and down all the time......One minate we can be happy, kind to each other and plan for the future
Next day its a war zone.
Not trying to pass on all the blame on him but he does like to drink. When he's had a drink he's nasty, verbally abusive and argumentative toward myself. I hate him when he's been drinking so I avoid him. He's a real jeckyl and Hyde. He went out a week or 2 ago after telling me (which is fine) but he never came back till 7am the following day!! He promised he would drive there (it's about 30 mins away we live rural) and get a taxi back. Anyway he told me he slept in his car with his friend (yes he's 35 and still acts like a teenager) and they stayed in the one town all night. Found a mcdonalds receipt on the side the day after and noted 3.15 am on the receipt and in a place which is over an hour away from here!!! He tried to deny it but later admitted he DROVE THERE DRUNK and didn't tell me as knew I would be pissed off. Then he lied again today. He finished work earlier around 2 and I came back from town with the little ones about 4 ish....could tell he had been drinking...He tried to hide it by tipping vodka in a can of Fanta. ...I know his tricks his ways and know when he's had a drink. He lied said he ws sober not had a drink etc....till I found the evidence then I get called a sad old cow etc and I have problems!!! The lying is ..quite unusual as he's never really lied to me in the past before regarding his drinking?
Anyway this problem has been going in years.....All 14 we have been together . He will go through stages of not drinking for weeks but the model partner etc but then he will.go.back to it again. It's the abuse I can't deal with....the slurring at me and the words he calls me. I hate it.
When it's good its good........We where even thinking of buying a house not to lpng ago when things whete ok....We have a long term plan and its good. A joint venture work wise......We have had very good times together and lots of memories....on the other hand we have had some bad times...We ate now argueing about monet on top of everything else we have been having a stressful time financialy but we are getting on top of things again now after a spell of bad luck. Tomorrow he will be full of sorry etc and like the stupid door mat I feel I am I will take it all again....except I don't want to. I want to be strong enough to walk out that door and never look back.. He's had chances to stop his drinking get some help etc but it doesn't help matters that everyone he knows seems to have a drink problem....
How do you get out the cycle?
I feel scared that I won't cope alone...emotionally and financially .We have 4 children youngest being 2 eldest 13.
Also I live 100 miles away from my mum and friends....its quite a bad area and not one I would want to bring my kids up in......where we live is lovEly and the kids are happy at school......I do like it here but I do feel cut off sometimes but when I am up at my mums I can't wait to get back here....Am so undecided....my sister left her husband 8 years ago and regrets it. Says there are alot worse out there than my OH....what if I regret it....and end up alone and sad and he moves on and has everything... am 36 this year and it feels like I am stick in a rut....I think how I would like to move out and have a fresh start....maybe I can stay in the area and get help with rent etc...give it 6b months and if i feel alone i could move back up north..I am self employed so can work from anywhere. I just know I can't support myself and the kids on my money alone.......I think I can get a deposit together....I need a plan.
What's the next steps?