I'm 35, have been married for 13 years and feel like I need to get out. Everything has changed and it's killing me.
My husband never wants to spend time with me, unless it's in a pub getting totally wasted - I don't drink so that's never. He can't cope with a night in on the sofa, a meal, cinema - no activity with me is interesting to him.
He has his friend round our house almost every night from straight after work until after I've gone to bed. If he's not in with his friend he's out in the pub with him. I don't hear from him until he wants a lift home. I've even questioned if he's gay as he seems to spend all his time with this friend and is thoroughly miserable on the odd day he's not with him!
He shouts at me all the time, he is the master of silent treatment if he doesn't get his own way over minor things. He goes in random moods in which he'll refuse to speak to me for days leaving me anxiously trying to cheer him up/ get him to make up with me even though I never know what the cause is or what I've done wrong.
He's aggressive and his temper flares incredibly easily - for example the tv remote not responding at first touch can result in throwing it across the room, shouting and swearing, stamping and punching things. Totally over reaction to any minor irritant.
He is never affectionate, I have to ask for very hug that I get and they are given grudgingly - usually with a grunted 'quickly then' as if I'm interrupting something really important.
He offers no emotional support, nor is he interested in my health. I recently underwent major abdominal surgery and he refused to take care of me or our pets, as a result I have ongoing issues with healing as I didn't have chance to rest in the early days. 2 weeks ago I broke my ankle - the level of support is again nil. I get snide comments from him with everything he has to do. He's neglecting the dog so I have to get family members to look after her. This week he bumped his head (purely an accident caused by himself) he lost his temper and hit the dog. I'm so angry with him, I don't think I can forgive him. I'm also worried that hitting her is one step closer to hitting me. I don't feel safe and I'm not happy.
Is there any point trying to work through this? How do I get out? How do I accept that there's nothing left here. How do I start again alone ðŸ˜