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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Split Advice

33 replies

WillsF · 08/06/2017 09:40

Hi everyone,

Needing urgent advice please. I have recently split with my partner of many years, we were not married and sadly have no children as I have lost our three babies. We lived together for a fraction of our relationship and the house is in my name although we bought it as 'our home'. I will not go in to the reasons behind our split as that may not be relevant at this stage although it was my decision based on his actions. He is leaving the home but would like financial compensation. I am struggling to make ends meet but am working hard to give him something. My lawyer has said he is entitled to nothing although he feels he should get £3
0,000. He will settle for £15,000 however. I'm trying all I can to get this money for him but my lawyer has said this is the wrong thing to do especially as it is likely to put me in a financially vulnerable position and he is not entitled to this despite his claims. I am at a loss what to do, I would like to do the right thing and help him out however I do not want to be taken for a fool and ruined. Has anyone else ever experienced this or have any useful advice at this stage?
Thank you

Wills

OP posts:

RandomMess · 09/06/2017 19:27

See I would morally want to recompense someone if they had paid in ££££ over the years - you have benefitted by them helping pay off your mortgage you have something to show yet they don't...

Isthereanyusernamesleft · 10/06/2017 17:53

Do.Not.Give.Him.A.Penny

I could live in my landlords house for 10 years, does that mean I should get some money back when I leave because I've been helping him pay his mortgage off? No.

If you had both agreed to some form of compensation at the start then fair enough however, I guess you didn't so tell him "you win son, you lose some". Will he give you some form of compensation for the time you spent with him? No.

I'm sorry but f*ck morals, it's your house, he only paid to live there, if he didn't, he'd had paid rent elsewhere & probably at a higher rate!

Don't be pushed into paying money you don't have. It's not fair on you, you aren't getting any money so shouldn't have to find any to give to him.

Others may disagree but honestly don't feel guilty! X

Categoric · 10/06/2017 19:36

There is no moral argument. You bought a house and he didn't. If it had been important to him at the time, then he would have insisted on buying it in joint names.

You took the liability and now you take the rewards. He did nothing more than pay rent.

You haven't said what he did to break up your relationship but whatever it was, he hasn't owned it has he?

Bullying you into giving him money or getting his family to do it is hideous. He did something that he shouldn't and now he should go without trying to make you pay for the situation.

iffikitty · 10/06/2017 20:02

If he can prove from bank statements that he has paid half the mortgage, and the house has risen in value, then he could legally make a claim. Morally he's entitled to something. if the house is worth more than you paid for it.

Racmactac · 11/06/2017 08:38

Iffikitty. You are completely wrong, paying mortgage each month does NOT give him an interest in the property.

Otherwise everyone that ever paid rent would gain an interest in a house.

MoreProseccoNow · 11/06/2017 09:03

Again, this boils down to legal v. moral obligation. Legally, it has been established that OP doesn't owe him anything. But OP hasn't given enough information re: morally.

Her ex-P did not contribute to the deposit. However, what if the If they lived together for 10 years & the house increased in value by 100K? I wouldn't think it unreasonable to split the share of the profits.

OTOH if there is no increase in value, or the ex-P wants a refund of rent payments, that's not how it works.

Could you provide more info, OP?

happypoobum · 11/06/2017 09:12

You say you only lived together for a "fraction" of the relationship.

I doubt he is entitled to anything and as PP have said, he would have been paying rent of living elsewhere.

Is he living with you now? How do you know what his family think?

I would block him/his family and just move on.

twattymctwatterson · 11/06/2017 09:19

Honestly I've seen so many posts on here telling women that she shouldn't pay anything towards a mortgage if she's not on the deeds of a house or her partner will be financially gaining from the relationship. Op if you were a man I'd be telling you that you sounded financially abusive. He earns less than you but has always contributed an equal share to the mortgage. Has he helped to pay for improvements to the home?

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