Worried OH is planning to leave

[LouiseH2017]

I accidentally saw a message on my boyfriend's phone that said he was going to breakup with me when he could afford to move out. (I wasn't snooping, his phone was on charge and I checked the battery level to see if I could unplug it, I saw a message on the front screen from a friend asking him where he was moving too and fearing the worst I opened up the message)

I asked my OH about it immediately and he said he was drunk at the time he was texting his friend and didn't mean it. We have been going through a rough patch but I thought I could trust him to openly discuss our problems.

I really don't know what to do now. OH says that he wants to be with me, but I don't believe him. I was insecure about us anyway and feel even worse now. I'm worried that OH is just saying the right things so that he can continue living here (I own the house) whilst he makes plans to move out on his terms.

Tell him to leave

He goes. Shove him before he walks. In vino veritas and all that.

This^^

You have evidence that he is only still there because he can't afford to move out. A bit of tough love from me - he's doing exactly that. He doesn't want to be with you. You're wasting your time being 'worried' when really you should be ending the relationship on your terms. You're worth more than being somebody's landlady! Get rid of him and find someone who wants to be with you!

Don't let the door bang him on the way out. He is using you.

Yup, can't add anything more - tell him to bugger off and let him sort out his own problems. Even drunk, he wouldn't be talking about leaving if he was committed to your relationship, so don't give him the opportunity to carry on using you and your house.

He might not be able to afford to leave you.
But you can't afford to let him stay.
Kick him out

He is saying the right things because, as he said, he cannot currently afford to leave.

Well aint that a big basket of tough titties? Dont wait for him to leave, kick him out.

Do you really want him to stay knowing what you know?

Bye bye, Felipe!

He's using you until he's in a position to leave (i.e. has another female willing to let him cock-lodge). You deserve better. And you'll never find Mr Right whilst you're living with Mr WRONG!

I asked my OH about it immediately and he said he was drunk at the time he was texting his friend and didn't mean it.

Total load of rubbish. Get rid ASAP.

As the saying goes, "There are three things that always tell the truth: drunk people, children and leggings"

Another saying... "a drunken man's speech is a sober man's thoughts"

The fact he said that to his friend, drunk or sober, shows he is not the person for you.

Do you really want to waste your life with him when you could be dating much better men?

Love is not having to fret, worry, wonder, beg, pay for....he is not worthy, Op. Not even close. Loser.

Be ultra bold and kick his behind to the curb.

He's an arse and you can't live like that, looking over your shoulder. Get rid on your terms.

Trust your gut instinct - if you are insecure about the relationship it's for a good reason.

Test him for further proof? Ask him if he'll book a holiday together (where he'll have to stump up half) or buy tickets for a concert a long time away - see what his reactions are to these things.

Yeah you've caught him out so he's lying about it
Tell him to go

I found a letter x had written to his Mum(?) that suggested he was planning to leave ...told me he was drunk when he did it and forgot about it (it was in an envelope with a stamp on it!). Following weekend I packed up all his stuff and put it in his car...we've been separate since, and we have a DS together!

Save your grace and dignity and get rid

Show him and his stuff the door. I'm with everyone else.

Agree, save your dignity, he meant it alright.

Just say "I will save you the bother, please piss off right now"